Well my insanity, or instability really, stemmed from insecurity.
I pursued men online to get self-validation, and would consequently get myself into a mess when they fell for me… I had to painfully claw my way out of the hole I dug every time. It hurt both me and the guys, more than I would have liked. I got way too involved with some people who I definitely should not have. In more than one instance, I deluded myself into feeling emotions that were not real.
On a similar note, I threw myself into online communities, again to receive validation; I felt like I belonged there while I felt isolated from most of my peers in high school. I saw solace in it. Online, I felt smart, powerful, attractive, well-liked, appreciated. In person, I felt like an overlooked, awkward outcast.
At the time, I thought it was perfectly acceptable that I behaved this way. Even when my friends intervened and told me they were concerned about my “Internet life,” they were aggressive and intimidating about it, which just made me retreat further into my world (this is probably because they read a post of mine which offended them personally).