@Blackberry To you, cheating is apprently trivial, to others it is not. I think maybe you are concentrating on the term “cheating” as opposed to the root of the issue which is a “betrayal of trust.” What good is life without people you can trust. You can try the “got it alone” strategy, but at some point you need that person to lean on. And what better person than someone you love and trust and enjoy being with?
And yes, I do feel that if you are young (I don’t know how old you are) or younger than most on here, maybe you don’t have the maturity yet to realize the amazing benefits of a committed long term relationship. It is less that you have to worry about when you can trust someone else with your love and not question it. Instilling that little bit of doubt snowballs into smaller fights that are rooted in the initial betrayal.
Yes, people change. All thoughout their lives. But for the most part, their core values and who they are do not. It takes A LOT to change that. That core person is who you fall in love with and who you stay with. No person is ever the others ideal, so you need to weigh the good and bad of the other person, or “the things that you need in a person” and the “things you can deal with in a person.” These differ for everyone, but that is what maintains a relationship. And discovering new ideas and experiences can also benefit and grow the relationship further. What if one of you finds something new and it turns out you both love it! That’s why you do certain things together as a couple and somethings you go at alone. I wouldn’t force my SO to go hiking if he didn’t want to. I would do it by myself and then we can go out together to a football game of the team we both like. One thing I look for and like about a SO is actually their explorative nature and willingness to do new things. Somethings I may like, others I may not, but the only way you know is to try and expose yourself to it.
I don’t think you are correct in saying that the only people who can be monogamus are those who are set in their ways. How boring, to be with someone thinking and doing the same thing all the time. You have to find someone who you actually are willing to change with, in my opinion. What you fear is exactly what I look for and look forward to in a relationship. But there are 2 aspects to the relationship, the sex and the emottional side. We have mostly been discussing the emotional side. Wanting to ahve sex with only one person is a maturity thing. It’s realizing that this person has both, the physical and emotional qualities you look for. It is difficult to find more than one person that fits this criteria very well, so when this is realized, it becomes less important to sleep around. Cause let’s face it, how much better is the sex from person to person really? the combination is difficult to find and when it is, you keep it! You think it may come around again, but it’s hard to find that certain something.
Change within your relationship is good – embrace it! Changing with someone you love is very rewarding!!