@seaofclouds I was misled for about 1 year…
I stumbled across messages between him and many ladies. Some of which were lewd and full of sexual innuendos.
When I say: lie about past…I’ll give you an example.
He went to hang out with his ex. The coffee table broke. He fixed it. He sent her a text later that said: “Thanks for having me over for dinner tonight and tell your mother thanks for letting me under..your…table ;-).”
I got angry. And he literally, for 4 hours “believed” that wasn’t implying anything but thanking his ex’s mom for dinner and for letting him fix their table.
4 hours.
I feel like if he had just said: “I’m sorry for being so inappropriate…I won’t do it again..way to point it out…” I’d feel so much better. But he, legitimately thought that that’s what he was saying to her. Until his best friend was like: “listen bro, you were totally implying something that wasn’t a table” and he was like: “okay, i can see why people would think that.” He completely wants to convince himself that he’s an angel. It’s completely unreal and frustrating.
There are parts of me that love parts of him but there’s definitely guilt about how wholly I love him in comparison to his feelings for me.
The reason many of these things are so raw is because they magically keep coming up. For example, the day we met he chased after me on his bike so that he could spend more time with me. And later he was like: “i can’t believe I liked you so much, I’ve never chased a girl down before.” Meanwhile, I was told by his exes/friends of wonderful stories of him having done those things.
It just reminds me how much he lied to me = raw, and takes away from the “specialness” I felt in the beginning of our relationship. Now when he says things like, I want to marry you, you’re the only person I’ve ever wanted to marry…I’m waiting for someone to come up to me and say: “sweetheart, he said the same thing to me”