Oh my god. I had the same problem with my ex. THE SAME EXACT PROBLEM. Anyways, I’ll give you a little insight.
I was with my ex for a little under 2 years. Our relationship was okay in the beginning but towards the middle something happened. He completely changed. He never wanted to have sex, would never kiss me other than a little peck, it all was really weird. Like you, I went out of my way to do things for him, but would get absolutely nothing in return. I was confused as to why this was happening (especially because I found out he had been watching porn [I’m not against porn AT ALL], which was weird because it was as if he was substituting it for sex.) I was just confused as to why he could watch it yet not have sex with me. I was really insecure, wondering if it was about me, driving myself crazy. I was embarrassed, but finally asked him. He said it was because of stress. I believed it for a while, but after really thinking about it.. It was more like.. “WTF”.
Anyway, we ended up breaking up for different reasons.
During the whole breakup process we had numerous conversations on of which was him bringing up the whole sex thing.
He had told me that he the real reason was that he didn’t think he could properly satisfy me, so he just gave up. It was a personal thing. A problem that he had.
I’ll tell you right now, me moving on was on of the best things that could have happened. I know how shitty it is to have someone annoy you and poke you, but not want to do anything sexual with you. It’s frustrating and causes a lot of issues. My advice is this: First things first. Sit down and really have a conversation about it, tell him it’s bugging you.. If you really think it’s because he’s “in pain” and you’re willing to wait it out with him and see how it goes in the future, then stick with him. If you think it’s just a load of crap and it’s really bothering you, move on. It’s not worth it to worry and be confused and frustrated. Life is short.