I was step-father for a year, and he was the cutest kid ever. One time in the car, I was joking around and singing a song that I obviously should not have been singing. He sounded like an adult and said as he put both of his hands up with palms out, “Lamar…...Stop…”. That was pretty funny.

@Blackberry yeah, it put your adult life in a whole other perspective. i have a stepson too. he said some stuff that put me in my place just like that.

It wasn’t recent, but when my son was about seven I took him to see Shrek. As we left the theater he said, “This movie had some language that was not appropriate for kids, mom.”

My husband was scolding our 3-year-old son for talking back. He told our son, “You are not the one in control of this situation, Daddy’s in control.” He replied with, “No, you’re not a troll!”

It’s not quite what you’re asking, but my 3 yo niece has decided that the food in her tummy is going to be earmuffs for Halloween.

She also told her dad (who is physically fit) as he served her breakfast but hadn’t yet put on his shirt that “nobody needs to see you like that.”

One time, when my niece was 6, and when I got my first job, I was teasing her by telling her that I will make alot of money and go places and get alot of stuff and she would get nothing because she wasnt working like me.. And then when we were in a taxi with my mom i leaned over to pinch her nose and she told me “Hey…youre workin now…SIT DOWN LIKE A WORKIN MAN.” I was really embarassed cause everyone in the taxi was laughin at me.

When my brother was 3 he was riding his tricycle around in the driveway and he hit the grass and flipped over. Everyone was standing around breathless waiting for him to get up from under the tricycle. After laying there for a couple of seconds looking at everyone he just said, “Guys… can someone get me out of this predicament.” It was priceless.

When I was 15 & at my niece’s 10 birthday party, her friend pulled up a chair & sat in front of me. Looking me straight in the eye, in her most serious tone of voice, she asked “Are you a Goth Person?”

Have you ever heard of Art Linkletter?

It’s not profound or prophetic, but today we visited a friend of my husband’s, who happens to own a chicken coop.

Roger, the old rooster, crowed loudly.
Ian says “Bee!” (his word for Bird.)
I said, “Kind of. It’s a chicken.”
He looks at me all confused and says, “A bite?”

@Seek_Kolinahr I don’t get it….

Recently my nephew sat down in front of me (he was 3 at the time), and tilted his head to the side and looked very pensive. Finally he said “Nanny, (that’s what he calls me… long story as to why) you have sunshine in your eyes.”

I almost cried. lol.

@Draconess25 Let me give it a try – kids get their chicken from packages and the chicken is call “bites”. Many don’t realize it comes from an animal.

My grandson kept grabbing eggs from the refrigerator, so I invited him to help me cook breakfast. He broke the egg and said “But where’s the chick?” He was so disappointed.

He saw an empty shell on the counter later that month and asked “Did it hatch or was it an eating egg?”

My oldest bowled me over one day. He had been getting picked on by this one kid who was really pushing him around. My son had the honor of going to lunch with the Principal and a guest of his choice. He chose this kid who was picking on him and I asked him why? His reply…“I wanted to show him what it is like to be nice to someone”!

My wife is deaf. She tried explaining this to her 3 year old grandson. He came away saying “Gramma’s ears are broken.”

“A bite” is Ian-speak for anything edible. One of his favourite foods is chicken (particularly chicken legs). So you can imagine the confusion when I tried to tell a 21 month old that the bird was something he likes to eat.

@Seek_Kolinahr Oh, okay! XD

One time my little brother, probably about three at the time, was watching TV with the volume really loud.

My stepdad walked in and says, “lower that Eric, what are you deaf,” and without even taking a moment to think, my little brother replies, “If I were deaf, I wouldn’t be able to hear it anyway.” (Implying that the volume wouldn’t be up for that reason, duhhhh)

It was the funniest moment of my life.

@Cruiser That kid’s a keeper. Good job. ♥
.
.
A conversation I had about a year ago with my niece Kate, who was 5 years old at the time:

Kate: [notices my Rocky Horror Picture Show poster] Hot mama!
Me: ... [chuckles somewhat nervously]
Kate: Why do you have this?
Me: Because I like it.
Kate: You like her?
Me: ...That’s not a her.
Kate: That’s a boy?
Me: A boy in girls’ clothes, yes.
Kate: ...Why?
Me: Um…
Kate: You’re weird.

My three year old niece said she was going into the city with her imaginary boyfriend Josh. She has an entire story about staying at a hotel and going to a spa. My other 3 year old niece said she was pregnant with twins over the winter and would be giving birth in the spring. These little cuties just crack me up.

Showing off my newly shaved head to a child I tutor last month:
Me (taking off my hat): “So, what do you think?”
Kid (gasping in horror): “UGGGGHHHH! PUT THE HAT BACK ON, PLEASE!”

It hurt just a little bit. XD

I work at a day camp during the summer, so I hear all kinds of funny stuff. There’s this one little kid my friends and I adore, he’s insanely cute.
I’m not sure if this was last summer or the one before, but the kid was either 5 or 6. One day, I was hanging out with him, just sitting at a picnic table I believe. It was silent, and out of the blue he asked me with genuine curiosity, “Do you like rainbows?”...I couldn’t stop laughing. To this day, my friends and I quote that (employing squeaky 6 yr old voice, of course).

Another classic quote we often repeat with that kid was from when my friend scooped him up, squeezed him, saying how cute he was, etc. She put him back down and he cried in bewilderment, “I don’t even know you!”
Kinda had to be there…

Oh, and I can’t forget the first time I went to my steady babysitting job. The 4 year old I was primarily responsible for was napping, so I was just next to him on the couch watching TV. When he woke up, he goes, “Hi! I’m Tanner.” I returned the greeting. He continues, “I’m going to go to the kitchen to get a snack. Do you want me to get you something?” with the utmost poise and maturity. I’m pretty sure I said “No thank you,” But he returned with 2 spiderman gummy packs anyway and gave me one. It was so sweet and cute. Unfortunately he became less angelic as the months rolled by :P

My grandbaby turns 1 year told tomorrow. Want to know what he said today? Okay. He said, “Dah!” Later he said – and I quote -
“Kee kee!” Cute, huh?

Okay, this really doesn’t count, because my son is 22, but he made me laugh yesterday.

My wife is on vacation, so I put out some frozen stew to thaw Tuesday night. Wednesday morning, I looked at it, and couldn’t remember if I actually liked that stew, so after work, I went to Costco to pick up some chicken to bbq.
On the way back from Costco, my son called me, and said he was cooking the stew, and it smelled good. Fine, says I. Stay downstairs, and help me bring in grocheries when I get there.
I get about a mile from my house, and I see a 20ish, heavy set girl walking, and hitchhiking. I normally don’t pick up hitchhikers, but decided to here. I explained where I was driving, and she got in the car, and we drove up to where I live.
She got out of the car, thanked me, and walked on her way. My son was walking up to me to help, and he asked “Who was that?”
I said “I went to Costco and bought you a girlfriend”
He paused for a split second, and said “I see you’re still buying in bulk.”

@susanc My son’s first two-syllable word was “Keekey” too!