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RedPowerLady's avatar

Breastfeeding your father, what do you think? Do breasts have to be sexual?

Asked by RedPowerLady (12591points) June 2nd, 2010
72 responses
“Great Question” (7points)

Do breasts have to be sexual?

I mean let’s consider this. Take your own sexual hangups out of the picture. Can you imagine that between father and daughter that breasts do not have a sexual meaning?

So if you take your own hangups out of the picture can you imagine that this isn’t so “icky”?

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ItsAHabit's avatar

Breasts are not necessarily sexual. However, some people have hangups. That’s why a number of jurisdictions have had to specify in law that breastfeeding in public is legal.

BoBo1946's avatar

my mom breastfeed me…never thought about it then!

Seriously, in utopian, a man’s breast and a woman’s breast should be treated equally! Breasts are a part of the human anatomy and should not be viewed any differently than any other part of the body.

In reality, that not going to happen!

YARNLADY's avatar

If father was unable to eat, and food was not available, then I would pump the milk and feed it to him, but suckle from the breast – no. It’s a personal preference – my father was a heavy smoker and I didn’t like to be too close to him.

When Dad became disabled, the last year of his life, I used wash him and help him with his urine bottle, but he ate soup, juice, cows milk, and jello.

Silhouette's avatar

There’s no reason she can’t use a breast pump, that said, she wants her dad hanging off her tit who am I to wrinkle my nose at it.

aprilsimnel's avatar

When I read stuff from UK mags, I think… hrm. I’m never sure if the stories are true. But if this is true and she’s helping him, well, hey. Whatever works. At some point, though, her son will be weaned. Does the milk go on indefinitely if anyone is feeding from her?

YARNLADY's avatar

P.S. In some cultures old people need someone to chew their food for them, and I don’t think I would like to do that, but I might end up changing my mind.

rebbel's avatar

I just hope my aunt is not coming to tell me that the only cure for her sickness are my spermazoids…

YARNLADY's avatar

@aprilsimnel I believe that is true. There used to be women called ‘nursemaids’ who made their living suckling other people’s babies.

Trillian's avatar

What I will never understand is; why do people feel the need to have their weird crap announced for the entire world to read? Do you all remember the arguments we got into because of the guy nailing his grandmother? Non of us knew about it until it was in an article with the two of them basically saying; This is what we’re doing, deal with it!
I’ve recently been getting into internet porn after mostly staying away from it all my life. I’ve noticed that there are some thing specifically designed for men who seem to fantasize about their daughters. Whatever.
She could get a different pump if she wanted, hell, it comes out by itself on the other breast so I think it’s her choice and she just wants to justify it. I notice that his hand is touching her breast in the photo. None of my business, mind you, but where is hie other hand and I cannot help but wonder if he is erect.
She’s a wetnurse, I guess, but I saw a weird CSI episode that addressed this. Doesn’t seem healthy, and I feel kind of sorry for her husband and child. None of my business and I don’t want to see us argue about this like we did the last time something came up…

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I can’t get past it.
Dad must die.
Get a breast pump?
Bye, dad.

RedPowerLady's avatar

I don’t want to see us argue about this like we did the last time something came up…

But isn’t a good debate the very essence of Fluther?

Jude's avatar

I’d do the pump. That would be it.

Trillian's avatar

@RedPowerLady I’d have to say that debate was not the word for what passed then. I don’t see the raw emotion this time, so I don’t think it will be a problem. I see@janbb is crafting, I’ll be interested to read her take on this.
I’m with @jjmah, pump yes, breast no.

janbb's avatar

Sorry but the idea just grosses me out. Breast pump – yes. Suckling – no.

Trillian's avatar

@Silhouette Hehehe, I thought of that but didn’t want to add fuel to the fire! I love Little Britain!

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

Here’s my question: WHY is a father nursing from his daughters breast? If there is really no other nourishment around, how is the daughter living?

Silhouette's avatar

@Trillian It’s going to flame no matter what, you might as well get your marshmallows ready to roast.

RedPowerLady's avatar

Why does suckling gross you out? Can you not imagine that for someone else, for a father, that his daughter’s breasts are not sexual?

@papayalily It is to help with his cancer.

@Trillian Well I must admit I don’t know what happened last time.

lilikoi's avatar

“The expert, Martin Ledwick, Head Cancer Information Nurse at Cancer Research UK says : ‘It’s perfectly understandable that people affected by cancer will want to do all they can to help aid recovery, but there is really no evidence to support drinking breast milk as a way of doing this.’ ”

Sounds like a kinky placebo to me.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@RedPowerLady Then so long as he’s not suckling, fine.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I would never let my father actually suckle, but if he truly believed it might help with his cancer, sure, I’d offer the milk in a bottle or something.

The way I see it is this: Boobs are meant for babies, period. That is what nature intended them for. Sick father or not, I’m sure he has the ability to drink milk from a glass or bottle. The only things that would ever feed off of my boobs would be my babies. Unless I was in some kind of extremely life threatening situation where there was no food – then and only then would I offer up my boobs for nourishment, no matter who I was with. If it was enough to save someone’s life in that kind of situation, I’d probably do it.

BoBo1946's avatar

@DrasticDreamer well said…........ditto!

SuperMouse's avatar

I am a huge advocate of breast feeding. I breast fed all three of my boys and if I had another child it would be breast fed as well. I would let the father of my baby drink my breast milk straight from the breast. I have no hang ups about myself or any other woman breastfeeding in public and have no problem with mother and child doing it with neither of them covering up. That being said, there is no way, never, ever, not in a million years would I let my father suck my breast – for milk or for anything else. I can see myself pumping milk for him, but latching on and drinking from the breast – not ever.

Let’s face it, most grown heterosexual males see the breasts as sexual. There is just no way to escape it. Most women are taught that men see breasts as sexual. Right or wrong, society sexualizes a woman’s breasts and letting a father suck on his daughter’s breasts – for any reason whatsoever – borders on incest.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar


eden2eve's avatar

I can see that a breast pump might be painful at times. But manually expressing milk is easy, fast and painless. I did it with each of my babies. I expressed enough each day to send to a milk bank for ill infants.

janbb's avatar

I could see nursing a sick man potentially, depending on the situation, but not my father. (There is a famous scene in The Grapes of Wrath in which this occurs.) There is a sexual component to nursing – the release of oxytocin – and the yuck factor in incest is there for a reason.

BoBo1946's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille we all know about @Silhouette ! Everyone in town is talking about her!

Silhouette's avatar

@BoBo1946 They’re lying! I never said that. ;o)

RedPowerLady's avatar

Do you see your father’s penis as sexual? How about your childs?

I assume the answer is “no”.

So then what makes you think this man has any thoughts of his daughters breasts as sexual? I highly doubt it would be incestuous. I mean a father would be turned off (not on) by his daughters breasts.

RedPowerLady's avatar

In all honesty I think the reason it freaks us out (yes including myself) is because of our own sexual hangups. But we don’t all share the same hangups. Perhaps for this family it isn’t icky at all. Can you see that as a possibility?

Jude's avatar

I’m visiting my Pops (working on his comp) and he just said to me that he needs “more creamer” because his coffee is way too strong.

Oy. Ha!

BoBo1946's avatar

@Silhouette ummm…not what you said…i’ll never tell!

Vunessuh's avatar

If my father came to me and said that he read an article concerning breast milk curing his disease, I’d be like, “really? Good for you. Let’s find some lactating volunteers to give you some of their breast milk in a bottle. We can even pay them.”
It’s as simple as that. There is no reason for me to ever allow my father to suck on my tits. Ever.
I don’t care how painful a breast pump is. That’s what she should have stuck with.
In my opinion, it’s incestual. I also agree with @lilikoi – it’s a little disturbing considering the fact that her father’s doctor dismissed the idea and the expert at Cancer Research said there is no evidence to support that breast milk helps cure cancer. Granted, it can’t hurt anything, but by means of him sucking on his daughter’s breasts?? Me thinks not. 0.o

casheroo's avatar

This is my question, and @RedPowerLady I mentioned it on that other thread about DH’s and nursing..
HOW is he getting milk out? My husband is unable to get anything out. They say you eventually forget how to latch properly. So, my breasts are sexual when with my husband..even if he sucks on them. But, my baby does it properly to get the milk out. So, I’m confused as to how she is producing it for him.

I couldn’t do this with my father. I’d pump, but no latching.

Silhouette's avatar

The most compelling evidence that this is something sexual between this woman(weirdo) and her father(freak) is they felt compelled to put in the public eye. If it was no big deal they would have been content sitting on their couch nursing one another. They just had to stick it out there for everyone to see. Wallow in the shocked responses, why what naughty people we are pop. hahah

Coloma's avatar

I tried to formulate an answer…uh…nothings coming out. lol

anartist's avatar

Parading something as personal as that in the media is disgusting. And unnecessary. In this case, why couldn’t he drink pumped milk? This definitely seems intended for shock value.

But if anyone remembers the last scene in the Grapes of Wrath, where in desperation the starving woman who has lost her baby feeds the starving old man with her breast milk because she has it to give, that is another thing entirely.

I can imagine this as a good thing in any situation where desperation is such that it is needed and opportunity is such that it is available.

janbb's avatar

@anartist My post above references that scene.

anartist's avatar

@janbb sorry missed it :-(

janbb's avatar

No prob; it was a very memorable scene.

RedPowerLady's avatar

@casheroo Good question. I recently learned about that.

josie's avatar

I have seen way more “ickier”. That’s not the point. Just weird. That’s all.

majorrich's avatar

Mammary Glands. Mother Nature’s Dairy Delight!
mammary glands

jazmina88's avatar

@rebbel Your spermazoids may save the world….please freeze. :)

SuperMouse's avatar

@RedPowerLady even if the father does not see her breasts as sexual, I still find the whole idea of a man sucking any of his daughter’s body parts as inappropriate. To be fair, I find the idea of a mother sucking any of her son’s body parts inappropriate as well. I’m not sure if it is about sexual hang ups as much as it is about boundary issues.

Buttonstc's avatar

To say that the Father in this situation couldn’t perceive his daughters breasts in a sexual way is disingenuous, to say the least.

The only time a man’s ability to respond to sexual arousal is when he’s planted six feet under, regardless of what age he is.

This is just incest in disguised form, plain and simple. One can be in denial about it, but it doesn’t change the facts.

And the facts are that even if breast milk is essential for his health (which is certainly not proven factually) there are numerous other ways for him to obtain it OTHER THAN suckling at the breast of his daughter. Many of them have been mentioned previously upthread.

Also raising eyebrows is the fact that they feel the need to justify it publicly. Why? What purpose is served by that other than rationalization?

To borrow from Shakespeare (who was an astute observer of human nature):

Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

Jude's avatar

My girlfriend’s response, “It’s only weird for a minute”.

She kids

SuperMouse's avatar

@jjmah that does it, she’s getting a friend request. LOL!

Coloma's avatar

Yeah, I think it’s a thinly veiled rationalization for some sort of perversity.

I had a male friend once that was into nude hot springs and felt that if his 21 year old daughter would go nude bathing with him that it would be some sort of big opening for their relationship.

I don’t think he had any duplicitious agenda really, but, I told him straight up that nudity was not required for bonding with anyone, that he surely could come up with an alternative activity to share with his daughter that would facilitate a bonding moment with clothes on. lol

RedPowerLady's avatar

@SuperMouse It seems inappropriate to me as well. But why do we find it inappropriate? Because of our society says its sexual. So really we can’t separate the two.

Although I don’t think it’s necessary a veil for perversity @Coloma because I think it is reasonable to believe a father would not find his daughter’s breast sexual. If you had son, would you find his penis sexual?

RedPowerLady's avatar

Here is another question that has essentially the same undertones.

Is it appropriate for a mother to nursing her child while having sex?

Coloma's avatar


No, but I wouldn’t want to suck it. Ooooooooh….shiver, feel faint.

Hangups aside, I agree with whomever said it was less about hangups than boundary setting.
Sorry, I think it transcends beyond strange and is inappropriate.

SuperMouse's avatar

@RedPowerLady I don’t know it if is appropriate or not, but I am pretty sure I wouldn’t be doing either one very well if I were nursing and having sex at the same time!

I don’t know if we see it as inappropriate because of cultural norms or what, but either way it seems inappropriate. I do not find my boys’ penis’s (or any part of them for that matter) anything close to sexual, but although that is the truth, I still consider themir penis private property and wouldn’t put my mouth anywhere near it. @Coloma I totally know what you felt writing that, I am creeped out just typing it, I am breathing into a paper bag… Regardless of one personally thinking of certain body parts as sexual, the fact of the matter is that a majority of people use certain body parts in a sexual way on a regular basis and there is no getting away from that. That truth makes this situation weird and creepy and way beyond the beyonds for me.

Coloma's avatar


I wouldn’t want to attempt nursing during sex…seriously…why?

I don’t place nursing and being sexual simultaniously on the same continuem as other ‘multi tasking’ skills.

If the infant was very small I would not worry about it being frightened by it’s parents sexual acts but if it was a toddler, I think it would be extremely inappropriate.

faye's avatar

I would also say it’s easy to express milk, no need for the ouchy pump. No suckling- ewww.

Coloma's avatar

Well, lights out over here…express away. lololol

MissA's avatar

I’d be putting a healthy, lactating, non-family member breast in ol’ dad’s mouth. But, that’s just me. If you want to have your dad sucking on your breasts…I’d probably think you have bigger issues all the way around.

YARNLADY's avatar

It’s not only a matter of my hang-up or yours, it is a recognition that close physical relationships between family members are simply not acceptable, and recognizing that there are, indeed, perverted people in this world who do have sex with their children and other family members.

As several others have said, there are many ways for a lactating daughter to provide milk for her parent that don’t involve suckling.

RedPowerLady's avatar

@Coloma I only ask b/c this question came up in the same light as the other when I was discussing it elsewhere.

BoBo1946's avatar

ummm…<clearing my throat>...excuse me and my poor proofreading…in utopia (in a perfect world), blah blah…and blah!

OpryLeigh's avatar

Like others have said, I am more concerned with the fact that they felt the need to tell the world or at least a large number of people about this part of their life. If you feel that it is right to do this then why justify it in a magazine? On the whole I agree with @SuperMouse that, the majority of straigh men do find breasts to be a turn on, they can’t help this, it’s just the way it is and because of that, I wouldn’t allow me or my father to be in a position where he could accidently be a bit turned on by it. I am very close to my dad and love nothing more than having one of my dads bear hugs when I’ve had a bad day but that’s where I draw the line. I would happily express milk for him to drink if necessary but he doesn’t need to touch my boobies to do this!

Coloma's avatar


” breathing into a paper bag”

lol…to even contemplate these sorts of things, talk about an excercise in expansion.

Eh..this is one area where I somehow don’t mind being close minded. haha

SuperMouse's avatar

I wanna hear the other side of this… How would a father feel about sucking his daughter’s breasts? Some how that seems even more inappropriate than being the one who is lactating.

Coloma's avatar


The plot thickens. lol

janbb's avatar

It’s interesting to me that almost all the posters have been women; I do wonder how some men see the issue.

Coloma's avatar


I would be interesting to get a fathers perspective. One that has a daughter with breasts of course, not a 4 yr. old. lol

I just told a freind of mine about this question on the phone awhile ago…it posed another interesting discussion and quite a few laughs. haha

wilma's avatar

Breastfeeding is for children, not adults.
Lovers in the midst of lovemaking may get a wee bit “milky” if the woman is lactating, but a father and daughter doing this is sick.
The fact they they have advertised their perversion, only serves to prove how icky this whole situation really is.

SuperMouse's avatar

I showed this question to my boyfriend who has two grown daughters, both of whom are moms. He could not imagine doing this.

majorrich's avatar

I don’t have any daughters, nor Daughters in law that would let me that close to their bosoms.

Iclamae's avatar

If they’re comfortable doing it, power to them. I just didn’t appreciate the picture.

For me:
The first time my boyfriend approached my nipples, it freaked me out because it reminded me of breastfeeding. I actually had to get used to the idea before it felt good. I think whenever I have a kid, the learning curve will be faster because it’s weird to feel sexual about babies.

As for a father with cancer… being the science minded person that I am, I’d want proof. I’d want a study that I understand to give a legitimate improvement to their participants’ health. There are a lot of things that may help cancer and most of them are bogus. Even once I had proof, I’d use a pump.

No, I don’t think it would have to be sexual and I think the father and daughter could reach an agreement regarding maturity but for me personally, it would be too uncomfortable. I’m uncomfortable when anyone but my significant other touches me in sensitive areas, male and female alike. (My first gyn. exam was quite the adventure.) Add to that the “father” factor and it would be all but impossible.

If we were stranded in a jungle and breast milk was the only way to keep him alive, okay, maybe I’d get over it. But since that’s not the case, I’d use a pump.

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