I’m not going to claim this is the whole answer, but at least part of it is rooted in awareness. When we hit the fridge to medicate a problem, we mostly aren’t aware of the thought process that is dictating the behavior, and possibly we aren’t aware of the behavior. It’s sort of like triggering a macro in our brain which takes over until it runs its course, and we’re left wondering why the hell we did that again. So awareness is recognizing the macro and being able to see and break it down into its individual parts. This allows us to evaluate whether the behavior is effective and choose a different behavior if it is not.
I’m going to back up for a minute to talk about distractions and temptations. When we try to do something challenging, we hit resistance. The resistance is unpleasant and stressful and for some induces a bit of a panic reaction. If we are not able to control this reaction or even just to observe “I am panicking because this is uncomfortable,” the next response might be “I need to feel better.” Temptations and distractions offer the immediate promise of feeling better. So you get the good feeling without the hard work.
So, perhaps willpower is the ability to “see through” the discomfort of resistance toward a more permanent or more meaningful payoff. This ability might be something obtained through experience (such as a formative childhood experience—which might even include a strong reaction to childhood trauma) or through ethical or religious dogma (doctrine forbidding hedonistic tendencies perhaps) or possibly being seduced by some type of “me too-ism”—being motivated to keep up with a peer group of achievers. I suppose one could characterize it as a bit of blind faith for those who have never truly “fallen.” I can imagine though that it means a lot more for someone who has and has recovered.
Lastly, belief may have a lot to do with it. Someone on Fluther once wrote that it is impossible for people to act contrary to their beliefs. People with willpower undoubtedly have strong beliefs in themselves or at least in dedicating themselves to a particular purpose. For example, here’s Chuck Norris’ personal code:
1. I will develop myself to the maximum of my potential in all ways.
2. I will forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements.
3. I will continually work at developing love, happiness and loyalty in my family.
4. I will look for the good in all people and make them feel worthwhile.
5. If I have nothing good to say about a person, I will say nothing.
6. I will always be as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
7. I will maintain an attitude of open-mindedness.
8. I will maintain respect for those in authority and demonstrate this respect at all times.
9. I will always remain loyal to my God, my country, family and my friends.
10. I will remain highly goal-oriented throughout my life because that positive attitude helps my family, my country and myself.
So, in his case, constant meditation on these ideals mostly carries him through. There’s not much room in his brain or for indulging in temptation and distraction nor for forming those kinds of habits.