My penis exploded.

Heartbreak.

(Finally! I got to give @ChazMaz a GA!)

Slightly bruised ego when one time as a teenager a girl was clearly faking it, I mean screaming Suzie doesn’t come into it.Immediate recovery though.

Repeated jabs from Mirena wires. Owie!

Pregnancy.

Ouch, the exploding penis. I hate when that happens.

@dpworkin – serious, no joke.

I was thrown against a metal base of a bed.

@ChazMaz It’s a friday afternoon. We need more detail.

Sore ass.

Ok, was on the beach one even, making love to my now ex-wife.
Something we did often here in Florida.

Was in the process of digging a hole to China, and POP! This sound and this pain.

I guess I should have zigged instead I zagged and blew a vessel. My “boy” looked like it was pounded with a 2×4. Doctor sad to stay off of it for a week or so. Took a good month to get my “confidence” back.

Eventually everything went back to normal and have had no problems since.

Brought to you by AT&T

@ChazMaz LMAO. Sorry, that sounds painful but I can’t help laughing too. I want to see the insurance claim forms.

@ChazMaz You Floridians are somethin’ else!

My ego.
The Oscar for Best Performance in a Musical went to another girl.

Cramp in my tongue.

@rebbel nice.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir
I beg to differ. ~

@ChazMaz Glad everything is back to normal for you now.
@rebbel No, I agree with @Simone_De_Beauvoir. Really Nice!

Mine is pretty gross…

My partner had a large prince albert piercing NSFW LINK! And we were doing it doggy style on the stairs, and I don’t know how I noticed some blood…His piercing had been nearly tearing the skin apart on his penis (it was a big gauge) and I said “Oh no, I think you tore” so he pulled out and inspected his bloody penis, and said he had no cut whatsoever… I was not due at all (and was on birth control) for my period, and when I started walking I felt sore. We came to the conclusion that he had cut me internally. He took the piercing out soon after, but I believe his skin still split.

@casheroo Win.

@casheroo i have the shivers. that does not look pleasurable. did it feel good? was it a ring, like in that picture? uckdlfksjdflk.

i guess i’ve never really been injured during sex, but my boyfriend right now is extremely clumsy so he’s always elbowing me or rolling on my foot and doing other little painful things. i did smack my foot off the window sill once pretty hard, that left a mark. i can’t compete with @casheroo or @ChazMaz though. thankfully.

@casheroo wins for sure on that one! I’ve only had two things happened, got poison ivy (everywhere) and knocked my GF out cold with the cast from my broken wrist as we moved positions to account for my discomfort with the aforementioned cast.

Girls with braces are no fun.

I haven’t really suffered any major injuries yet, but I remember telling a guy he could smack me around a bit while in the doggy style position and the bastard left a handprint on my ass for two days. I remember jolting forward quickly because it shocked me and banging my head on the bed frame.

I once got a charlie horse while sitting on my boyfriend’s face. It was freaking painful they always are and I was very, very embarrassed.

@KatawaGrey
Charlie horse?

@rebbel A cramp in your thigh or calf or somewhere else on your leg.

@chyna
Ah, also a cramp victim, is @Katawa…
Thanks.

Compound fracture of the penis. My penis emerged with a forty-five degree bend about five inches from the base with the two jagged ends of the splintered penile bone jutting through the torn flesh.

ah. i always get charlie horses in my left hip when im on the bottom. it is frustrating. i have to throw him off and roll around grabbing my thigh for 5 minutes. buzz kill.

Has your partner ever accidentally pulled out while thrusting, not realized it and went to thrust in again only to jab you in the taint/asshole? This happened to me several times with this one guy, and it crippled us both every time. Kind of hilarious, though. Ew I typed “taint.”

@ubersiren! Ew! A few times my bf has pulled out accidentally and crippled himself by thrusting into my leg or just above my vagina. He always lurches and falls onto me when that happens…

Sounds like that guy was a zealous sucker, wasn’t he? ;)

@casheroo I’ve been with men who had a prince albert and it was usually uncomfortable for me.

I’ve bruised and busted people’s lips while they were performing oral sex on me.

@ubersiren way too often! hahaha

I recently started getting hives due to my fiances semen on my skin

@deni He had a ring and then one that completely closed..a captive bead. The ring one was what he usually wore. I was always afraid of being a ball stuck inside of me! lol

@casheroo aaah that sounds so uncomfortable!!

I aggravated an old shoulder injury by supporting my lady’s upper body in the “Rainbow Arch” position. No more acrobatics after that.

Rainbow Arch? I am intrigued…

Friction burns and a broken nose. Accidental headbutt.

@KatawaGrey This is Rainbow Arch (NSFW)

@stranger_in_a_strange_land: Wow! I admire any woman who’s in good enough shape to pull that off! I think I’d fall over backwards and take my boy with me.

Edit to add: And you sir, must have some excellent upper-body strength!

@KatawaGrey She started to fall backwards, I wrecked my shoulder catching her. Turns out that a back-leaning “cowgirl” position gave her the same pleasure without the precarious balancing act.

A partner rushed on me with a toy with little arousal and no lube- bad idea and no fun surgery and stitches later.

Drugs are bad, kids

Broken nose and dual ensuing black eyes due to a previous gf’s (rather enthusiastic) response to a (rather pleasureable) orgasm. (Think knee to the bridge of the nose…)