Name: Acumenica.
Currency: Common sense.
Flag: A likeness of Mad Magazine’s Alfred E. Newman with the international NO symbol across his face.
Language: Rationalese.
Name: Conservika.
Currency: The Earmark, worth less than a campaign promise, only redeemable in non-election years.
Flag: A wolf in sheep’s clothing feeding on corporate logos OR a likeness of Alfred E. Newman covered in oil.
Language: Obscurish. Every word has at least two opposite meanings, truth is optional.
National Bird: The Vulture.
Name: Teabagistan.
Currency: the Dolt, has a different face on each side, worth little.
Flag: A giant hairy scrotum dangling over the head of a grinning Alfred E. Newman.
Language: Incomprehensible, a mixture of Obscurish, Limbaughian and FOX News sound-bites.
National pastimes: Talking in circles and beating dead horses.