If you’re willing to link your arms together and stand up to police in your city and go to jail together for ‘breaking the law’, then you’ve got things in common.

Having things in common really only seems to come up when you are first getting to know someone. I think people treat it as if having something in common with a new person means that they have a insight into their character (because it is also part of their own character) that will allow them to bond more easily than were it absent. Whether or not that is actually the case probably varies a lot.

It might be easier to get to know one another when building a relationship. Oxytocin is probably increased 2 fold when you combine an interest which you already find stimulating with a person who makes your heart pitter. However, as the relationship ages, it can be beneficial to develop independent interests and balance alone and separate time.

I am not sure about what you are asking exactly when you speak of social bonding and the friends and enemies thing…and I will argue that whoknows if we see the same blue or red?

For me personally:

shared values and the ability to act them out
shared focus as far as lifestyle habits
shared people feelers- open, compassionate, getting joy from giving and helping
some shared recreational interests which make it comfortable and preferable to spend time together.

Liking the same music helps…
Liking the same outdoor activities helps…
Liking the same food and drink really helps…
Laughing at and with each other is a huge plus…
Noticing things that happen because this person is in your life is a big plus…
Feeling an unmistakable connection to this person from the tips of your toes to the tips of their fingers is proof you should share a Dairy Queen shake together and laugh the entire time. :)

@Neizvestnaya and @Cruiser…gave my lurve to you because some combination of both would be mine.

Does that mean we have things in common?

@MissA- lurve in return and also to @Cruiser for mentioning the, “noticing things that happen because this person is in your life is a big plus…”, I really like that part :)

Great thoughts!

@KhiaKarma said: “I am not sure about what you are asking exactly when you speak of social bonding and the friends and enemies thing…and I will argue that whoknows if we see the same blue or red?”

When two people are in a fight, it’s over a set of events (or otherwise set of “things”) that they share in common. Well, when you say blue and I say blue, even if we’re seeing different colors, we label them the same. Most of the time we agree that what you think is blue I think is blue and what you think is red I also think is red. But anyway, that was just an example.