When my husband and I were dating long distance, it depended on where we were in the relationship. When we first started dating, we would talk once every day or every other day. After we got to be really serious (talking marriage), he called me more than I called him because his schedules varied and mine was set. I would call and leave voice mails for him every now and then. Generally, he would call me in the morning to wake me up (we’d only talk long enough to say good morning and have a good day). Then he would call after work and we would talk for a little while (just depending on what we had to talk about). Then he would call before going to bed to say goodnight (just long enough to say goodnight).
That didn’t always happen though. If he got held up at work, he might not call after work and just call before bed. If he overslept and had to hurry, he wouldn’t call in the morning. There have been times when he was not allowed to have his personal cell phone with him at work, so if I called, I would just have to leave a message. If one of us was going out with friends or family, we wouldn’t call each other while we were out. Instead, the person that had went out would call the other one when they got home.
With his training, there have been times where we didn’t talk for a week or more. He’s gone on hunting trips where we weren’t able to talk for 2 weeks. Usually during those trips, I’d call once during the trip just to say hi and leave him a message so that he would hear it when he was able to use his phone again.
Now that he is deployed, we talk on the phone about once a week. We do get to talk on instant messenger about once a day, usually after he is done his shift. He has internet in his room, so he tries to get online after his shift so we can talk for a bit. If he works more hours than usual or the internet is down, we don’t talk. We’ve had periods of time where we didn’t talk for a while (about a week or so). It’s hard not hearing from him for an extended time while he’s deployed because it makes my mind wander (but I know no news is good news).
I think not being able to get ahold of someone is a normal thing from time to time. It’s life. Before having cell phones, if someone wasn’t home you left a message or called back. Now people seem to think that just because you have a cell phone you should answer it 24/7. I think you have to allow for some time of not being able to reach each other. People get busy, forget their phones, forget to charge them, or are sometimes doing things where they can’t answer. Leave a message and either wait for them to call back or call back again later.