Meh. I don’t know, I have a dad that was a real jerk to my mother. I can never stop loving him, but yes, I do sometimes think of him as a “hopeless bafoon.” I’ve recently ended my very first relationship, and after realising the gravity of the effect him cheating on her must have had, and after remembering things like my dad throwing a plate at my mom, and them swearing and cussing all the time, I was very happy when he left. :s I see a lot of myself in him. Some things I do like, some things I wish I didn’t have.. but he is an incredibally irrisponsible, self centered man, though I’m sure he didn’t mean to be. I think this is a quality we share, though I don’t think I’m quite that… ..extreme. My mom has talked to me about this, yes. Maybe it’s a horrible thing. I don’t see it as such.. my mother is very alone. When my dad broke up with her, I was really the only person left in her life. She doesn’t go out much, she doesn’t have a lot of friends.. and every time she’d tell me bad things, or make fun of him, she’d apologise after. I don’t blame her. She probably couldn’t hold it in, because she had no one else to tell her that it wasn’t all her fault, and she wasn’t in the wrong. I honestly have no doubt that my dad badmouths my mother around his new wife. I know his new wife simply hates my mom. I remember her sending a letter to our house, just to write her last name as “Ketcher” and get under my mom’s skin. Imo, she’s a witch and I cannot stand to be around her. She’s breaking up my whole dad’s side of the family really. No one likes her. I think mom gets more angry about her than dad. She’s just mad at dad for giving in to her so easilly, ‘cause he’s a tad of a pushover.:s ..Anyway. * Cough * People are human. While I think your ex is being a total jerk for doing what he’s doing, maybe you should try to talk to him on his level. Find out why he’s doing it, other than “Well, I’m bitter and I haven’t gotten over you yet.” You were sad when you had broken up too, weren’t you? Try to speak to him on the same level, see if you can get him to respect you, without directly asking to stop. Explain how hard it’s been, dealing with your own children giving you a cold shoulder. What you could also do, is tell him that if he has a bone to pick, he can leave his children out of it and tell you straight off. .. Of course that can go one of two ways. He could say everything, possibally hurt you, and MAYBE get it all off his chest then, or he could get pissed off. Then you can have a big yelling session, and you can inform him of how bloody cowardly his antics are. If he’s still being a jackass, then yes. Turn to your children and drop subtle hints about things not always being “black and white.” Just simple, motherly advice type things. Always maintain that high moral ground. They may treat you bad now, but later, they’ll understand. I said I hated my mother when I was young. I also told my dad to “just leave, dad.” when I was young during one of their big fights. ( I believe I meant for him to go ride around the block, but mom told me that really really hurt him. .. I feel terrible about that. x_x ) But now that I’m older, I understand things better. Maybe wait for them to go through their first breakup. If that doesn’t pry some eyes open, I don’t know what does.
Good luck!
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