I don’t want to try shut off the subject from my head as I’m not sure that it would be the best thing to do for mental health. I need to be okay to talk about it so I don’t have an anxiety problem but I’ve always been scared of blood. It’s not that bad though, but the programme was really intense for me.
I’m a worrier and a researcher. These go hand in hand and don’t make a very pleasant combination. I just like taking precautions at almost every opportunity unless I choose to be ignorant.
It would probably help to let you know that the programme was about HIV and this girl who had it at 16 and it was really awful to watch. I got really worried for her and other people like my friend’s teenage brothers. In these situations I also really feel like I need to do something about it. It’s a scary topic but it’s reality; if I’d been watching a fictional horror film I’d shut it out and being ignorant would be the best thing for that but this is different.
And I’m not worried that I have HIV so that’s not a factor or a possibility unless I got it when I dropped my phone down a public toilet and had to rescue it with bare hands.