Social Question

lapilofu's avatar

Have you ever deliberately been single?

Asked by lapilofu (4325points) August 3rd, 2010
61 responses
“Great Question” (8points)

When unattached, have you ever decided to dig in and be single for a while or were/are you always on the lookout for your next relationship? How has either system worked out for you?

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stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

I’ve never deliberately looked for a relationship, they find me, much to my amazement.

spincity9080's avatar

sometimes i feel like im waiting for something that is never gonna be….. i have been single for toooo long…. it might be impart due to my job, or the fact that i dont look either but still

YARNLADY's avatar

I tried, but it didn’t work.

meagan's avatar

I’ve been single out of choice for about 2 years now. Its really nice. I’m the kind of person that likes her space, anyway. So this has been wonderful for me.

MacBean's avatar

I’ve also never deliberately looked for a relationship. I’ve even actively tried to avoid some of the ones I’ve gotten into, even though I don’t actually regret a single one of them now.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

After my first relationship broke up I stayed single for two years. It wasn’t entirely intentional, but I just didn’t meet the right girl. A few girls showed interest, but I just knew they weren’t my type. Eventually I did meet her though, and we’ve been together almost two years.

NaturallyMe's avatar

Nope. When i was in school i never tried to stay single, but i never had many boyfriends anyway (i was too quiet i guess). Anyway, i met my husband when i was 18, so trying to stay single has never really been an issue fo me.

lapilofu's avatar

Another interesting question occurs: Has anyone considered staying single for the rest of their life? If so, how is that working out?

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

I had intended to after my wife passed away last year; fate had other plans.

spincity9080's avatar

f that – eventually i will be to ugly to pick up chicks ahahahha just kidding, but no for real being alone is nice but not all the time

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

I tried to go looking for a relationship and I found some really weird people. I’ve just got faith that it’ll happen whenever it wants to.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

Yes. When I know I have too much going on in my life to be able to give 100% to a relationship, or if I’m too stressed to deal with much more. There’s nothing wrong with being single, and you definitely don’t need a relationship to be happy. Everyone is different. :)

I haven’t intended on being single my entire life before, and I’m not sure I would want to – just because when you’re in a good relationship, that loving feeling and connection you experience can’t be beat by much else in life. That said, I also never intend on settling… So who knows.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Uhm…Not really. When I’m single…They sorta find me…But I’m still hoping it’s the right person for when it comes. But I don’t go asking random girls to go out with me. That’ll make me a total creep plus a player….Don’t want that as my reputation. Too shy for that type of stuff.

perspicacious's avatar

I have been deliberately single for a lot of years. Right now is the first time in a very long time that I’ve become very close to someone.

For the years I was “deliberately single” I raised a family alone, graduated college and law school, and worked full time. I didn’t feel like there was enough of me to add a relationship to that. I have no regrets.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

I have never been in a relationship. I would like to be in a relationship and see how it feels. So for that I would say that No I don’t do it deliberately

It seems like boys aren’t noticing me:/

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

@Thesexier :I honestly think it’s best to just stay single for awhile. But I“m sorry guys aren’t noticing you….

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

@Vincent_Lloyd , I m cool with being single too, I am not that desperate lol.
I am more of a shy person also so…
And yeah thank you for feeling sorry for me, but education is my goal right now and enjoy the time with my family… and check out guys:)

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

@Thesexier haha yeah same here. And so am I I’m not to good at making words or talking to girls in general in real life. But yeah sure, you don’t need to thank me for that though…And yeah same here just with out the “check out guys” part XP

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

@Vincent_Lloyd , Hahaha then for you maybe it’s “check out girls?” :) Sounds better right?xD

Response moderated (Spam)
Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Yeah It does. I don’t check out guys lol.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

@Vincent_Lloyd , though sometimes when you are starring or something it and a boy is maybe in front of you with his back in front of you.. it could look like you are checking him or her out…


Response moderated (Writing Standards)
JilltheTooth's avatar

I chose to be single for life awhile (years and years and years ago) when I realized that I’m fabulous at casual dating but seriously suck at romantic relationships. I’ve never regretted it.

BoBo1946's avatar

i go with the flow!

Cruiser reminded me of something…like him, in college, my concentration was on books and the my work in the gym. Dated very little!

MacBean's avatar

@lapilofu: I’ve been single for going on five years now. It’s the longest I’ve ever managed so far!

Cruiser's avatar

There was a time in college I just had no desire to be attached to anyone…way too much going on to be responsible for much else than my own needs to get the work load done. There have been times though when I wish I were single again.

stardust's avatar

Yes, I’ve been spending time with and on myself for the past six months and I know that I wouldn’t have had the energy, time, commitment to give if I was in a relationship.

Before that, I haven’t sought after a relstionship. I now feel like I’m ready to be in a relationship. If I’m going to meet someone, then I will at the right time.

Response moderated
JilltheTooth's avatar

@Cruiser : Am I missing something? I don’t get it. I’m still new so please tell me if leaving the space blank is Flutherese for something.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Yeah, I am right now. I’m not in any place to be able to give as much to making a relationship work as it would require, so I’m not really looking right now.

Cruiser's avatar

@JilltheTooth I can’t tell you as you are not in the mansion yet. Everything will be revealed to you then!

JilltheTooth's avatar

@Cruiser : Ah. OK. I await enlightenment. 42.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@JilltheTooth The Vogons destructed it.

JilltheTooth's avatar

@stranger_in_a_strange_land : And I thought the Mods were tough!

CMaz's avatar

I have been and currently, deliberately single.

As I have clearly seen the errors of my past relationships. I now see so many whack jobs, that it is easier to just chill out.
If someone falls out of the sky great. I have tired of walking around, holding a net and staring into the sky. Only to catch a doodie.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I have been single on purpose but it didn’t take ;)
@ChazMaz -What are you using for a net??

Facade's avatar

I have always been in some kind of relationship with someone since I was 14 or 15. I was just discussing with my SO how I kind of feel like I’ve missed out on things since I have never been single as an adult. He and I got together right when I turned 18.

CMaz's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille – Apparently the wrong net. Or I would have caught you. ;-)

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Ten years single and loving it. No lack of prospects, and plenty of gals to hang out with. A lot of trust ensues when there is no pressure to fulfill the requirements of a relationship. One day, sure, a permanent relationship may happen. But it will be with someone that I’ve known and experienced for a very very long time.

Problems arise when the girlfriends put pressure on me to start a relationship. Three strikes you’re out. It is what it is, I am who I am. Take it or leave it. If my friendship isn’t good enough, then what in the world would justify a formal relationship?

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@ChazMaz -:) blushes and runs off

kirkratliff's avatar

Only after getting out immediately getting out of a relationship, don’t want to jump into anything right away. But usually I just like to have fun and see what comes my way.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I have never done this. I have never been single for long.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I was single for 10 years after my divorce. It wasn’t so much a conscious decision as it was that I wasn’t going to bring guys into my children’s lives unless they were something very special. I certainly wasn’t going to leave them on the weekends to go on the prowl, either.

tranquilsea's avatar

I was deliberately single in the two years prior to meeting my husband. The reason he had to ask me out so often was that I wasn’t willing to give up on singledome. I was protecting myself more than anything back then.

gailcalled's avatar

After a long life filled with parents, sibs, husbands, lovers, kids and careers, I am now, happily, living alone with a cat in the country. I really love it; We have a network of close friends for fun, companionship and crises, and I get to be autonomous.

mowens's avatar

All my life. Still single. I like it. SOs get in the way. I prefer best friends over dating people. Less emotion, more fun.

wundayatta's avatar

I have never been voluntarily single. I have been pretty lonely while single, but maybe that was just because I wasn’t getting laid? Naw. I don’t think so.

If I became single now, I’m not sure I would be anxious to connect with someone for a while. Except, I find that when I’m single, no one wants to have anything to do with me. When I’m in a relationship, other people circle around like flies.

zannajune's avatar

For about a year I decided I just needed to be single. I needed that time to figure myself out a little more before I got back into a serious relationship. I had a lot of fun and am thankful I had that time.

Austinlad's avatar

Since 1991! Marriage is a wonderful institution, but I didn’t want to stay institutionalized.

JilltheTooth's avatar

@Austinlad : Gotta love the new millenium! I used to say that and people would tell me “that’s stupid”...nice to hear you say it!

le_inferno's avatar

Well, I’m 19, and have been single my entire life up until a few months ago. I spent my adolescence desperately wanting a boyfriend, and never finding one. So no, I have never “deliberately” been single. I’m not sure if I ever will be. It might be fun for a while, but I’d still be hoping to find “the one.” I would not actively oppose being with someone who is good for me.

ducky_dnl's avatar

Yes, I tried giving dating a shot once, but it didn’t feel right nor did I feel like dating at the time I tried it. So now I deliberately stay away from them. Plus I’m need to rush at the moment.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Sure and each time I tried to keep to myself then some guy came along and swept me off my feet. Very few regrets though.

Scooby's avatar

Guilty!! I’m a hard arse!! you supple me up lo!!?? what ya got???

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@le_inferno You sound much happier now than six months ago.

le_inferno's avatar

@stranger_in_a_strange_land I am, thanks for noticing :)

Jabe73's avatar

I am a lone wolve for the most part. I rarely need to be in a relationship to be happy. It seems the few times I do look it does not work out for me. I will have girls catch me off guard however when I am not looking. I try not to put too much emphasis on depending on other people for my happiness. I just started dating again after a very long break. It either happens or it doesn’t. Nothing deliberate here on my part.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

Too many damsels in distress for this old knight errant to remain unattached for long.

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