Well, I have a chronic autoimmune disease. There have been positive effects, but it’s sure hard to get over the negative ones sometimes.
On the one hand, I have gained so much. I have learned much more respect for my body and health than I would have otherwise. And I’ve learned about myself mentally, too. I now know that I can handle challenges with grace. I usually do an okay job keeping my head up when I’m really sick. And that’s really nice to know, because aside from my health problems, my life is pretty damn good, and if it weren’t for the challenges and my reactions to them, I wouldn’t really have any proof of a strong character. Anyone can function well under great conditions. I know I’m strong because I can function well under shitty conditions.
I also had a near death experience related to my illness that taught me the value of time. I don’t waste time anymore the way I used to before that happened.
But this is not just a negative experience, not just something that happened once and something I got through and learned from. It’s something I’m going to have to deal with my whole damn life and I just can’t find the positive in that. I’m being realistic, not pessimistic, when I say that I will not go as far in life due to this illness than I would if I didn’t have it, and I hate that. It hangs over my head all the time. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I’m sick right now and I’m leaving for college for the first time in two weeks. And I can’t find the positive in that, either. I want to be energetic and ready to face the world and try new things when I go to college, and I’m not going to be. I’m going to be tired and sick.
So I don’t know if I’ve answered your question the way you wanted because I can’t decide if this is for the best in the long run. I wouldn’t trade away the things I’ve learned, but my life would be happier, less complex and less painful if it weren’t for my disease. It’s hard to make the call because unfortunately this isn’t hindsight for me and it never will be.