@zenele Thanks for the clarification.
There was a woman at work whose perfume would make me sneeze and my eyes water. She would often come over to my work area and lean over me. While I tend to let people know how I feel, this seemed to be a case of it being my problem, and not hers. And then we were assigned to work together on a sales project that would have us travelling in a car together for 3 days. Before we started it, I finally told her. The thought of being cooped up in a car for 3 days with that smell was just too much to handle.
Some good advice a manager once shared is that, when you are about to deliver some constructive criticism, be it solicited or not, start with something positive, drop ‘the bomb’, and then finish up with something positive. The key is that the positive statements need to be specific and sincere. So, how about something like this?
* Susan, I really enjoy being in the same student group with you. I appreciate your knowledge and points-of-view. There is one thing I am hoping to get your help with. (Pause for her answer.)
* The perfume you wear can sometimes be distracting. I’m not sure if I have an allergy to it, but it seems to be bothering my sinuses. (Pause for reaction.)
* Thank you for your help with this. I feel really embarrassed about it, as it is my problem and not yours. Your friendship is more important, and I feel comfortable enough around you that I could say this.
How’s that? If she’s a decent person, she’ll skip the scent when attending the study-group. If she doesn’t, well, your friend can chalk it up into a side of her he wasn’t aware of before.