I don’t mean to pry but I suppose my reaction would depend on the context of the conflict.
How easy it is to extricate yourself from a situation can have a bearing on how you react, because some things aren’t worth fighting over. For example, that someone pushed in and took the last beef joint from the meat counter would annoy me but not result in open verbal warfare.
I think it helps to try and detach yourself emotionally (where possible) to a point where you can discuss the issues without attacking the identity of the other person.
1. You can’t force someone to agree with you
2. You have to accept that some people don’t want to listen
3. When you can’t agree it’s about how you manage that
4. Remember that people are not their behaviours
5. If you get to the stage where your brain floods emotionally, all that will come out is basic emotional ranting – so if you’re getting too angry, go take a break and resume when calm.
6. Just try to remember that a dispute is not a personal challenge to win or the last chance in your life, ever, to defend your honour and worth. You do that every day throughout your life and the people that matter will notice.
Another thing I always try is to let the emotion of something pass through me, even if only for a second, before I reply. Instant retort rarely produces anything constructive.