People act like it’s just about the name, but many gay marriage proponents do not care about the name. It’s just a scapegoat used by the anti-side to indicate that gay couples are fighting for a word and nothing more. What they’re really fighting for are equal benefits and equal legal standing, which of course, comes with a “marriage”.
There are definitely plenty of gay people in favor of the term “marriage” being used, however. As a linguist, I understand that words and their connotations can not only affect society drastically, they can become the focus of certain social issues. The reason why I would favor the term “marriage” would be on principle more than it would be on pragmatism. Saying “you can have a union, but not marriage” is still unequal. It’s so so close, but still off by a small percentage. Marriage is not just a religious institution. This is not a theocracy. Then it follows that there is no reason why gay people should be denied a “marriage” on principle.
Also, on a more superficial level, we like the idea of weddings and dresses and tuxedos. Who honestly hates weddings? Most people don’t. Gay people just want to be able to have the same ceremonies that straight people have. They want it to carry the same connotations and have the same associations. “Civil union” is rigid and governmental; “marriage” is casual and romantic. These are huge generalizations, but you understand what I’m getting at.
People want there to be no distinction between a gay union and a straight union other than the gender of the people involved. They want to live in a society where we don’t have separate terms for gay unions, that point out the fact that these are different. They want it to all be the same.
Unfortunately, much of the country is not ready for such a drastic change. And that’s where the practical side of me comes in. If we can start by allowing same-sex unions that are EXACTLY THE SAME as straight marriages other than the word “marriage”, then fine by me. That is my main goal. I am not going be a stickler about a word. But if other people care so much about the word that they’d be satisfied if gay couples could obtain the exact same rights as straight couples just without the word “marriage”, then by all means, satisfy that.