As the parent of an 11 year old girl, I can say that it is harder and harder to find decent clothes for a “tween.” Not impossible, but the trick is to have her try on every single article of clothing. Sometimes a pair of jeans will look OK until she puts them on, and then it is clear they are way too low-slung in the hips. Some tops look acceptable at first, but turn out to be too tight or too short. It makes shopping a big exhausting.
Oh, and finding shorts that aren’t short is such a pain. :(
As for the issue of looking like a “slut,” I don’t think little girls see it that way. They want to look like the tween or teen girls they see on TV, and many of them typically have a bare midriff. They don’t associate the look with sex, but probably do learn quickly that “look” gets attention from boys. It’s up to the parents to teach daughters that if they look like they want sexual attention, they are going to get it. It’s also up to parents to attempt to teach boys that even though a girl may look sexy to them, it doesn’t mean she is interested in sex or wants their attention. Being open about peer pressure, the desire to fit in and attract attention from possible dating partners, the unfair stereotypes of “sluts” vs. “studs,” and how to appropriately handle sexual advances from other tweens or teens is critical. Not all parents are comfortable with the job. Not all parents realize that their kids may not show up at school wearing the clothes they left the house in.
Oh yes, having a daughter is so much fun. ;)
My husband’s cousin is married to a wonderful woman whose sister has a daughter about year older than ours. Sometimes we see her at family events. This past Christmas, I was shocked to see this little girl, who was 11 at the time, looking like she was 14 or 15. She was wearing makeup, had a bigger chest than I do, wore tight clothing, and disdained the company of the other kids at the party that were within a year or so of her age. Anyone who did not know her would think she was much older. If she is comfortable looking and behaving like an older girl, I hope to God her mother is teaching her how to respond to being treated like an older girl. I can imagine a 16 year old boy at the mall would look at her and easily think she was close enough in age to pay attention to.