all of the above… except for the dungeon lol you forgot to mention anal beads…

No, but we have had some Mickey-Ds and M&Ms bedside on a couple of occasions.

and does my cold damp basement count as a dungeon?

I feel like there’s this image of BDSM in most people’s imagination that it’s really extreme. Like when you imagine bondage, you think of someone owning a dungeon, being covered head-to-toe in leather gear, and owning all kinds of crazy toys.

BDSM is actually a really common kink. I have met a few people who are really really into it, but more people seem to be into light, playful kinky stuff. It’s a lot easier to use some innocuous stuff you might have around the house, like scarves, than go to the store and buy handcuffs. Role-play and what you can do with your imagination goes a lot farther than a lot of expensive bondage stuff.

Depends who’s over, she usually brings her own toys but I’ve a substantial collection for those special occasions …..well, you never know what’s on peoples minds!? :-/
A couple of drinks here a joint or two there, it relaxes folks ;-)
Got anal beads too… Lol… it’s all good fun, we don’t take it too seriously, if we can help it….
The spare room at the back makes for a pretty good place to play, guess that’s more my play room but dungeon if you like, Lol…...

@Haleth It’s pretty easy to buy handcuffs. The cheap ones with safety’s and no fur you buy at the sex toy store are the same ones you buy in the toy aisle at the supermarket so your kids can play cops and robbers.

Did @papayalily say “cops and robbers?”
Huzah!

Meg and I were great fans of bondage. J is eagerly “learning the ropes” as it were. We are not into heavier aspects of the kink, such as S&M. We do a lot of tactile play, but no hitting, cutting, burning, etc.

The restraint gear that we use are soft, silk-like rope and sheepskin padded leather cuffs. I don’t like locking devices, as Meg had and J has PTSD problems; I need to be able to release her instantly should there be a panic reaction. The cuffs are of my own design and making, fastening with industrial Velcro. Rope bindings can be cut away quickly if necessary using EMT scissors. Meg particularly enjoyed the artistic Japanese style of rope bondage, frequently asking me to “decorate” her. In my limited experience, ladies really enjoy cunnilingus while restrained.

Our playroom converts into a sort of “dungeon”. Much of its furnishings being dual-purpose.

Blindfolds and gags are a no-no for us, PTSD triggers. I also dislike anything that interferes with communication, this being vital to safe BDSM play. It’s also essential that both parties understand and agree to the rules of play and agree on safewords to be religiously respected before any scene begins. Remember that the dominant may be tying the knots but the submissive controls the scene.

Nope, just an old fashion and boring kind of guy! besides, it’s so much fun the converntional way!

I dressed as officer Dibble once & chased the wife who was dressed as Top Cat, does that count? Just wait til I get my hands on you T.C!!!

What I do at work is no one else’s business but mine and my employees!

Is it really alternative or uncommon? I can’t count the number of times my friends have told me that they’ve wanted to beat the $hit out of their partners for a bad performance XD

I agree with @Haleth —when you see what is popularly portrayed as BDSM is a girl with a ball gag in her mouth, tied up to where she can’t move, or something similar, very extreme, potentially painful. meanwhile, anybody who has ever experimented with tying up their partner or any parts of said partner (tying hands, or feet, or blindfolding) in any way has engaged in BDSM, and i think that may be more common. I have not been restrained but i do fantasize about it, and i have been examined by a naughty doctor, which i do fantasize a lot about. I am submissive and i desire to be dominated, but no hitting, or anything painful (although a little discomfort is ok!). for me, feet restrained is ok, but to have my hands tied or handcuffed i would have to have absolute trust in the other person.

@judochop Did I accidentally step into some sort of fraternity game? Or is cops and robbers not PC now? I know cowboys and Indians isn’t…

Not into extreme pain/blood. Slapping, biting, spanking? Yes. Dominant/submissive? Yes. Very much. I’m the dom. Roleplaying? Yes. Bondage? Yes, very much.

I tend to be rather plain in my style; no toys or props for me. Any restraint is with my own hands and relies on the fact that I am physically stronger than my wife. Well, that and that she would tell me to stop when/if it was no longer fun.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land I agree that it is important that both parties agree on the limits beforehand. After all, trauma takes all the fun out of bedroom play. Personally, I could never abide by being restrained or blindfolded, and if my wife wasn’t the submissive type and tried to restrain me, there is no telling how I would react aside from knowing that it would end badly.

@jerv I’m the same way, ever since the SERE training in the Army, I cannot abide being restrained.

Our play doesn’t involve domination, at least not directly. Obviously there is some element of D/S in tying someone, but I do it with utmost respect. She is giving me a precious gift of temporary total control of her body. I cherish this gift and trust by being gentle and respectful to her every wish while she’s restrained. I realize that this is not typical dom/sub behavior, it’s more of a symbol of love and trust between us and we both have a bit of a fetish about the paraphernalia. The dom/sub roles don’t extend outside of play either. Meg and I were absolute equals and I’m hoping that it will be the same with J, we’re gently working on her self confidence.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land Sadly, some see the bedroom as a place to vent their frustrations and exert the sort of control that they lack in the rest of the world. For those people, it is less about mutual trust and more about power.

@jerv—That’s not BDSM, that’s just plain abuse. People that abuse loved ones are the lowest form of maggoty whale shit, IMHO. I’m doing my best to get one such locked up right now.—

@jerv : some do the control/power thing voluntarily, in play, with those they trust, willingly, not for abuse, but for fun. as long as limits are respected and both parties are mutual, then it’s not a negative thing, it’s a positive thing.

@jca I am well aware, but there are also some twisted fuckers who go too far, that don’t respect the other party, that exceed those limits.

@papayalily I actually used to work at a sex toy shop. The handcuffs with the safety aren’t bad, especially if they also lock into place, which keeps them from moving and tightening too far on the wrists. Even so, I think fabric is a lot more comfortable.

@Haleth The ones at the supermarket lock into place. If I’m going to the sex shop, I’d rather get something nicer, perhaps covered in the fur of a dead Care Bear.

Nope.

@jerv As @stranger_in_a_strange_land said, that’s not BDSM anymore. That’s just abuse.

[Removed by me because it was not nice and I don’t feel it worth getting in trouble]

I haven’t yet, but I hope to someday!

Me!

I have a few collars, a leash, 2 whips, bondage rope, real handcuffs, pleather costumes(I’m allergic to latex and can’t afford leather), ball gag and I think that’s it.