I have hit an all time low recently and everything that I thought defined me has been stripped away. I feel like a shell, with no life left in me.

However, I know that I must do something otherwise I could end up in a mental institute or something, my life is becoming more isolated and introverted and self-destructive by the day.

I used to have some dreams and passions but even when I think of these now it seems like so much effort and hard work and I hear the voices in my head telling me “you won’t do it anyway…you’ll start and then give up, you’re a failure, you haven’t got the time, you’ll make excuses, you’re just an inherently fat, lazy, single mother and it’s no wonder you feel like this, you deserve to feel like this…” – you get the picture.

In another thread today I mentioned how these dreams (having the body I’ve always wanted, becoming a professional painter, feeling the sparkle and excitement of life – to name a few that I can remember and still grasp loosely) just seem to fade and slip away from me as soon as I think about them.

I want to become the person I feel I can be…but it seem like such an uphill struggle to even get out of bed. I’d like to know how you go about reinventing yourself? Have to managed it? How did you do it? Can you help me find the life that I’ve never had and move on and let go of the pain that I live in and with at the moment. Everything I do at the moment is self-destructive or not self-serving.

I must add too that I find myself making excuses…even… I have a son and I’m a single mum…I don’t have time…but I know I need to take responsibility and claim the magical life that is somewhere floating around…

Topics: life, dreams, love, help, magic, lifestyle, responsibility, action, passion, reinvention