Snow, Rainbows, Rain, Sprinklers. Everything looking big.. I remember playing in the dirt like it was normal, playing random sports with friends.. just.. knocking on a friends door and saying “Can he come out and play?” Childhood was a happy time. No responsibilities, no (really bad) drama… I remember vividly the fear of small things like shots, the panic of a bug over my eye, being chased by a small dog. Climbing on the air machine.. boxes at my old appartments, my dog, which I loved, but was cruel to because I was afraid to hold it close to me. (I retained that fear until I got a cat.) Toys. My insatiable love for toys, and running around the house, pretending my toy dog or horse is galloping on the wall. Wind, Rain, Christmas… the sky. (I spend a lot of time on the computer now. I have to squint to really look at the sky. It didn’t interest me much when I was young. Only the night sky and the moon did.) Adventures in the back alley, picking up things.. the smell of encroaching summer, the running around and playing tag. The thrill of games like that… having many friends that were guys and being a tomboy. Being afraid of pink and dresses (xD) Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Barney, Barbies… my parents being together. Them fighting. Them trying not to use bad words around me. Innocent happiness. The first time I mouthed off to an adult, when my friend was unjustly being yelled at. She called me a bitch. I told my mom, and she was very mad.
All of it. All of it fills me with wonder when I remember how I saw it through the eyes of a child. Everything was simple back then. The fights would pass, the good times would come again.. the pain of a shot felt like hours of endless pain, when it was only a moment.