@RANGIEBABY it seems many people are how you described, I am not. I almost never hold a grudge, I never think it is worth not speaking to the people I love for years because of some hurt feelings. I prefer to get past it fast. It has been a very difficult lesson for me to learn that people are willing to cut-off from family members, family who have been very close in the past, or long-term friends. Seems like such a waste. I am not judging how you and your sister handled the situation, I am only saying it is difficult for me to cope with that sort of situation.
The first incident I referred to, the one before this current one, was my first personal experience with this sort of thing, it was an in-law. That part of the family does this regularly within their nuclear family, and I hate it. Eventually, it got around to me being the outcast. Funny, I read a text book, which was written by a psychologist for family therapists, and it gave basically some stereotypes of family dynamics for various ethnic groups in America: Irish, Jewish, Italian, Mexican, etc., and my in-laws are textbook. The person who I wound up catching her wrath would be so flipping pissed if she knew she fits this text book so predictably, she hates any stereotype or mention of cultural differences. The book really helped me. And, I should mention that the person this time has the same ethnic background as me, but they handle it differently than my in-law, it is not exactly the same.