Well, this is a very deep subject and I think everyone has made good points and from different perspectives according to their own life experiences. I think your feelings are completely normal and understandable. As you don’t say why these relationships are something you will never have, the reasons for these feelings may be just natural circumstances or you may have had bad and unhappy circumstances. Obviously the circumstances which are the cause of your missing relationships that you mourn for make it difficult for me to comment on.
I am very lucky in some ways. I have a wonderful mum who is also my closest friend, but our relationship has gone through some very bad times in the past. I never had a nana and I do wish I had known the love of that kind of relationship. My poor mum lost her mum when she was 4½ years old. Her mum was only 32. There has never been a day when she has not felt terribly cheated because of that and knows how different her life would have been and all the real talents my Nana had could never be passed on. On the positive side, she had the most wonderful father who was mother, father and best friend to her all her life, all of which he did alone, although of course there was the normal family support if needed. As I sais I never had a Nana which my mother did and it was such a special relationship I feel I missed out on something very special. Again though, mum’s dad was an exceptional man who became my Grandfather, Best friend, surrogate Mum and Dad at times who totally enriched my life in so many ways and I owe so much of what I am today to him.
I hope this has not come across as a self indulgent excuse to talk about myself. I am just trying to say with some proof to back up my opinion that it is totally natural to wonder/wish for/envy the things we have not had. That is normal human behaviour. Yes, it does help to realise and be thankful for the good things and wonderful relationships that we do have and be grateful for them as we all have something someone else wishes they had. I personally do not think that will ever stop anyone still wondering,wishing and wanting something that is a natural part of life, such as family you never had or have lost. You should not be so hard on yourself for your feelings of envy for what your friend has. You have come across as very clearly being glad your friend has what she has and you have no resentment towards her because of it. You sound like a very caring, loving, and deep person. You are no different from anyone else in wishing for some things you have missed. I wish I could give you an easy way to stop those feelings but there isn’t one. You just have to learn to manage them so they do not become your main focus. If talking about it helps, do that. Maybe writing it down may be your thing. I don’t know. Be kind to yourself and remember that everyone you meet is carrying their own burden of something missed or lost. Bright blessings to you.
Rainbowspirit :o) x