I didn’t read everything, so I apologize if I am repeating something.
The “yuck” factor. For some people, there’s a visceral disgust at the idea of certain acts. So, for example, a guy might think sucking someone else’s cock is really disgusting. Or demeaning. That’s why “cocksucker” is an epithet. They would never, ever want anyone else’s cock to be near their faces, much less in their mouths.
Men often use penises as a kind of domination thing. Sure there is the size competition, but there’s also the idea of peeing on someone as a sign of domination. That also relates to the yuck factor: why would you want someone’s pee thing in your mouth?
Of course, it doesn’t apply to women, but that’s another topic.
Then there’s ass fucking. Once again, that is something that a lot of men use as a sign of domination. To be fucked up the ass is to be totally dominated. There is nothing more degrading that a man could do to another man.
So why on earth would any man voluntarily do it? How could they even like it? Shudder. It’s just too yucky to imagine.
I know those were the thoughts that went through my head when I first found out that such practices and people who engaged in those practices existed. It was very weird to find out that my first roommate in college was gay. He must have known what straight guys think, because he said, “Don’t worry. I won’t be coming after you.” Really. I was thinking that.
So that’s another thing—this idea that if someone is gay, they will go after anyone. Somehow they are ravening sexaholics. They want to demean every man they see. It’s a gut thing, not a clear thought. But those are the images that fearful people have, I think.
There was the night when I had a date. I came home to find another man kneeling at the side of my roommates bed. I could see that much in the darkness, although I couldn’t see much else. I quickly backed out and went to sit in the living room. After a while, some guy I didn’t know (and didn’t really look at) came out of our room and scuttled out the door.
My roommate came out to find me, and said, “I’m sorry about that. I thought you’d be out all night.”
As if! I don’t know. Maybe men have an easier time with other men—getting hooked up. In those days, well, I was still a virgin. I had no idea if I would ever lose my virginity and I wanted to, very badly. If I were looking for someone now, I’m sure it would be just as difficult as it was back then.
So there’s another thing. This idea that homosexuals are so profligate, fucking anything that moves practically. Even though I knew better by then, imagining what went on in the bath houses in NYC—fuck! asking my gay friends what went on—gave me a creepy feeling. Part of me was jealous and part of me was creeped out. By that time, I was more creeped out by the anonymity than by what they were actually doing.
Anyway, I think people tend to underestimate the strength of this visceral reaction. I think the religious and social prohibitions on the behavior come from this knee-jerk reaction. People are gay or they aren’t. Unless they know gay people and come to understand something about them, I think straight people will be disgusted without even thinking about it.