Social Question

iphigeneia's avatar

Have you ever instinctively disliked someone?

Asked by iphigeneia (6229points) October 8th, 2010
30 responses
“Great Question” (5points)

Have you ever felt an aversion to someone you hardly knew, without being aware of the reason? Or perhaps there were reasons (for example, the way they breathe, write, smile, sniff) that aren’t really reasons at all?

Sometimes (a single digit number of instances in my life) in my first meeting with someone I have immediately disliked them. I can’t think of a rational reason for my discomfort around them, so I try to fight it, but I feel it nonetheless.

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BoBo1946's avatar

Not dislike, but if the person is arrogant, probably we would not be best friends! Anything but arrogance!

Kayak8's avatar

I do know what you mean. When it happens for me, I usually take the time to stop or think it through and it is almost always because they have a behavior or mannerism that reminds me of someone. Then I have to quickly sort through and see if I am projecting my thoughts or feelings about the person I know onto the new person I seem to be disliking for some strange reason.

Deja_vu's avatar

No… I have to have a reason. I’m optimistic. I don’t just dislike people for no reason. Even if a sales girl in a store is rude, I think ”Maybe she needs to go number 2”. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Austinlad's avatar

Yes—and often discovered over time that either my first impression was right or that it was wrong. More often right than wrong.

marinelife's avatar

I have—just a few times in my life.

mrentropy's avatar

Yes, and like @Austinlad said, it usually turned out to be for a good reason. I would even have people mad at me telling me that so-and-so is a great person then a month later hear what kind of dumb, horrible, stupid things they did.

Cruiser's avatar

Yes….all the time and there are reasons for this that are explained in fascinating detail in a book I am reading called Blink

“It’s a book about rapid cognition, about the kind of thinking that happens in a blink of an eye. When you meet someone for the first time, or walk into a house you are thinking of buying, or read the first few sentences of a book, your mind takes about two seconds to jump to a series of conclusions. Well, “Blink” is a book about those two seconds, because I think those instant conclusions that we reach are really powerful and really important and, occasionally, really good”

BoBo1946's avatar

From a different perspective, I’ve felt that some people here don’t like people who profess to be Christians. Not sure why….but, they don’t. I’ve scars to prove it. lol Just kidding!

Over the years, through observation, have found that many people find all kinds of reasons to dislike others. Many people don’t like others because they are nice looking, got money, wrong color, they are poor, wrong religion, and a host of reasons. Bill Cosby has a video on “Prejudice” can googled it and watch it on Utube. Covers all these areas in his video. part one on Prejudice! part three. They did not have part two.

MacBean's avatar

My brother-in-law. Who will soon be my ex-brother-in-law. Because I was right.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@BoBo1946 Here is Bill Cosby on Prejudice Part 2 Great videos.

The only one that comes to mind is an uncle. When we were young, he treated us as if we didn’t exist and smelled of stinky cigars. When I was about 8, and we were visiting, he took me down into their basement to show me their dogs that they raised for show. It was the first time to see that he really did have a heart. He adored those dogs.

thekoukoureport's avatar

Twice I have had a strong aversion to a person and both time they where Turkish. Weird cause I am of Greek descent but I am an American born and raised.

BoBo1946's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer thank you….oh, i always showed these videos to my children when i was teaching!

Deja_vu's avatar

@thekoukoureport thoughs Turks and thier furniture! grrr… nah… I’m from Irish and Jewish decent. I don’t know what that means but if anything goes down I have a good excuse, hehehehe.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Yeah. I strongly objected to being around that person at the first meeting. And my childish intuition was right. But who was going to listen to me at the time? Unfortunately, the Family Court of Muskegon County decreed that I had to live with that person (my maternal aunt) as my guardian when I was 4, so for the next 16 years, I was in for it.

Scooby's avatar

I dislike a lot of people when I first meat them & very rarely change my opinion of them as time goes by! :-/

Coloma's avatar

It’s rare that I take an instant dislike to someone, but, yes, it has happend.

The last time was a few Thanksgivings ago when introduced to a friends sisters boyfriend.

This guy was a drunk and arrogant to boot, everything about him screamed ‘asshole.’ lol

Actually I felt sorry for him, nothing sadder than a loud mouthed drunk trying so hard to be cool and funny. Really, just sad.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I have met people that I got a bad feeling from straight away and have found that if I disregard this feeling,it is a mistake.

YoBob's avatar

Of course.

Not so much instantly dislike, but there are people that just put out a vibe that I find unsettling and I have learned through experience that such impressions should not be dismissed.

Trillian's avatar

Yes. I’ve turned out to be correct in my assessment every time too. It hasn’t happened a lot, but the few times it has were… memorable.

ucme's avatar


Aster's avatar

Yes. I met a lady who acted like the Queen of Sheba. She wore thick, fake eyelashes and glared at you. She also seemed to have her nose slightly , physically raised up. This person had a plastic WATERFALL in the corner of her den; her house was immaculate. Several of us went over for lunch once. She had a rum cake for dessert. We all knew she was Baptist and the kind of Baptist who would never permit a drop of alcohol to pass her lips. One of the men at the table kept joking that she “put rum in the cake.” She finally had enough of him and, looking up at him with those ridiculous eyelashes she coldly said, “I can assure you there is no rum in that cake” and he looked crushed. May I say “gag” here?
Her son developed a “tic” a thing he’d do with his head. Her daughter was not permitted to utter a word when she was talking with me months later in the mall. And if her kids rolled their eyes at her she told me she’d slap their faces. aaarrrrgghhhhh
I really cannot believe that woman ever had had sex. Nope; the second Immaculate Conception.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Yes, it was a gut feeling and turned out to be true. Unfortunately I gave the benefit of the doubt, let other people influence me and ended up badly. Since that time when I get this feeling then I hold back and check things out awhile. A lot of us are brought up to try and see the best in everyone which is a nice idea but the truth is some people are not good for you and you’d be better off not bothering to try to invest in them.

mammal's avatar

i guess if you can love someone on sight the opposite is true.

ratboy's avatar

I do not like thee, Doctor Fell,
The reason why I cannot tell;
But this I know, and know full well,
I do not like thee, Doctor Fell.

perspicacious's avatar

I have instinctively kept a distance from certain people.

mandybookworm's avatar

I had a feeling about one fellow actor during a play. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I just didn’t like him, and was upset because I couldn’t figure out why. After talking to some people I learned that he was actually really mean.

Jabe73's avatar

@Cruiser There might be some truth to that book. I can usually sense immediately if I will get along with someone or not. I am also very good at determining who will go out of their way to make my life miserable or say bad things about me. I have ignored this trying to be “positive” only to be proven my gut instincts were right. I would say around 99% accurate is my “gut” instinct.

This is true for both compatable women to date/befriend as well as guys. Even my sisters dates I could tell right away who the aholes were, unfortunately she always liked the guys I“ve hated and disliked the guys I knew were good for her. I have been wrong on some rare occasions when my gut instincts were somewhere in the middle. I can usually tell who the overconfident, cocky troublemaking snakes are right off the bat just by their facial expressions, demeanor, eyes, etc in about a few seconds.

mattbrowne's avatar

Come on, this happens to everyone from time to time.

Lilyred's avatar

Not really “dislike” but there have been people who just instantly gave me that “heeby-geeby” feeling. After a lot of hindsight, I have learned to go with that feeling and stay away when I get it.

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