Social Question

socialfly26's avatar

How do I tell my family that they're going to lose me?

Asked by socialfly26 (215points) January 11th, 2021

So I haven’t been feeling well lately and decided to go to the hospital which is something I didn’t want because In light of the corona virus pandemic I didn’t want to ask my dad to travel out of state because he works. I had to go out of state because all the local hospitals don’t listen to me. It turns out that I am very sick. I have been diagnosed with Advanced Stage Liver Failure and told that at this point a transplant will take too long meaning ill be gone most likely before a donor can be found. This is very harsh and devastating. While its not 100% certain I’m going to die, I have a better chance at hitting the lottery on Wednesdays drawing then I do at finding a donor in time. I want my family to hear it from me but I don’t know how to tell my parents that their going to need to start planning my funeral.

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9 Answers

YARNLADY's avatar

What? One week ago you were going to buy a house, and one day ago applying for a loan. What happened since yesterday (on a weekend, no less)?

socialfly26's avatar

I’ve been dealing with declining health for awhile but I have been forced to neglect it due to being homeless and having issue with insurance. To be clear I wasn’t asking about the house because I was looking to purchase now. I was simply asking so I can figure out what I need to do to be a home owner. I’m an ex alchoholic. I drank heavily for over 13 years and now I am paying the ultimate price. Liver disease also runs in my family as does addiction.

chyna's avatar

I’m very sorry you are going through this. Maybe the hospital has clergy or a therapist that can help you with your own feelings first, and then to help you find the words to tell your family. Hugs.

longgone's avatar

Oh, I can’t even imagine. Maybe you could text your mom/dad and just say “I really need to tell guys something, and it’s too hard. Please don’t let me off the hook until I do.” I’ve had good experiences with this tactic. Pick the family member that’s most insistent. If that’s not your parents, maybe a sibling or aunt can help you tell them?

I hope you’ll be matched up with a donor after all. Isn’t there a better chance of finding a donor in your own family? Don’t give up yet.

Jeruba's avatar

@socialfly26, I’m so sorry for your trouble. I think you have to just tell them, preferably in person.

If chemical dependency runs in your family, it might be hard to find a donor among them with a healthy liver. That’s very sad.

socialfly26's avatar

thank you guys

YARNLADY's avatar

I am sorry about your current issues. I hope I didn’t come across as insensitive. Thank you for your informative response.
You can simply tell them you now have to accept the consequences of your past.

socialfly26's avatar

@yarnlady no I understand the confusion

KNOWITALL's avatar

I would seek an immediate second opinion. I’ve known an awful lot of alcoholics, and it’s almost always kidney issues, not liver issues. But I’m certainly no doctor.

I wouldn’t give up on life without a second opinion though. Best of luck to you.

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