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bandgeek98's avatar

How do I get my boyfriend to introduce me to his parents?

Asked by bandgeek98 (1points) January 15th, 2011

Well we have been going out for over a month, and I REALLY like him. He is a year older than me, so I do not get to see him at school as much as I’d like. I have asked him if he would like to hang out, but whenever I do his response is “My parents would never let me. They’re too strict.” He hasn’t even told his parents we are going out! I have asked him to at least try and ask, because you’ll never know until you try, but he just continues to tell me they’ll say no. I would like to meet his parents, and I would like to introduce him to mine, but that will never happen unless he decides to tell his parents about me (us). Help?

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12 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

A month is not very long. Let the relationship cook a little.

poisonedantidote's avatar

A month is not really that long. I won’t introduce a girl to my parents until at least 4 or 5 months. If I introduce a girl to my parents before that, I risk hearing “whatever happened to so an so, she was nice.”

Also, as it’s really no business of my patents, If I can avoid introducing a girl to them, I will.

Give it some time, a month is too soon, and if his parents are a bit weird, it could damage the relationship.

Seaofclouds's avatar

How old are the two of you? Are his parents completely against him dating or is it something particular about the two of you dating that they would be against? If he isn’t ready to tell his parents that he is interested in dating someone, there really isn’t anything you can do to make him do it. One month isn’t that long really.

You can either give him time to be ready to do it on his own, or tell him that you aren’t comfortable being with him if he isn’t willing to tell his parents about you. The second option could lead to the end of your relationship though, so I’d only use it if you are ready to move on if he tells you it’s over then.

john65pennington's avatar

What’s the rush? this will happen in due course, if its meant to be. you sound young and again i ask, what’s the rush?

marinelife's avatar

Is there an ethnic or background difference? His parents could be from another culture.

He knows best.

You might consider looking elsewhere for a boyfriend.

klutzaroo's avatar

A month is no time at all, especially when you’re in (high? probably middle?) school. Why are you so insistent that you have to meet his parents that they have to know you’re “going out?” If you’re 12 or 13 like the “98” in your name suggests, how much “going out” do you really do? He won’t even hang out with you outside of school. You’re blowing this up into a much bigger deal than it is. He hasn’t told his parents because its not a big deal and you won’t meet them because there’s no real need. You need a reality check on the grand romance you think you have going.

gorgeousgal3's avatar

I would wait at least 3 or 4 months before you ask him again so that the relationship builds more. Give it some more time before you meet his parents.

XxSHYxxGUYxX's avatar

Wait for some more time… A month is a little less… And dont push him into it.. You might regret it later… He might have his reasons

Disc2021's avatar

@marinelife I agree, there are some very strong ethnic/cultural back-rounds that could be in effect here.

Otherwise, this strikes me as an early ‘red flag’. Has he told you why he hasn’t even told his parents about you? Maybe it’s just me, but when you first start dating someone you like, usually you just can’t seem to shut your mouth about them. You tell your friends, your friend’s friends, your family and eventually your parents. Maybe it’s just the way you’ve described his disposition, but it sounds like he’s vehemently against the idea of even telling his parents anytime soon.

Maybe the others are right, perhaps the relationship just needs time to grow and all of those things will follow. I would proceed with caution though and communicate frequently – but don’t nag-shower him with too many expectations.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’d expect it to happen after he’s said to you that he wants a serious relationship, one he thinks will be around for awhile… or forever. A lot of people don’t want to run the gamut of questions with their folks unless it’s going to be over someone they are pretty sure of.

You could tell him now that you’d like him to meet your friends and family if you two end up being serious and see what his reaction is.

mrrich724's avatar

1. a month is not a long time at all.
2. relationships between a child and parents can be very complicated, and if he isn’t up to it yet, don’t push it. there may be a greater issue here. if you are dating for a year and he still doesn’t want to introduce you, revisit the question.

klutzaroo's avatar

Guys, she deleted her profile. Probably because she’s only 13 at the most and me pointing this out, and the fact that 12 and 13 year olds most often don’t have “real” relationships especially since they don’t even see each other outside school, probably pissed her off. Oops.

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