Will you play the INTERESTING IF NOT FUNNY DIALOGUE game?

Sun Tsu to Bush and Cheney: For a decisive victory, speed is of the essence
Cheney: No, It’s not. The longer it takes, the better.
Bush: Yes it is I took it for years.

Oh, now I see you wanted a fictional dialog. Sorry, I got nothing.

Condoleeza Rice: “I want to get married and I want to marry a guy who loves to watch football with me.”
Amelia Earheart: “Honey, to FLY, now that’s the thing and I hope you get my drift.”
Captain James T. Kirk: “Girls, if you stick with me, I will take you to a place you would never want Scotty to beam you down from.”
Condoleeza and Amelia: “Ooooh Captain, take us to the Promised Land.”

Thomas Edison / Henry Ford / Caligula / Cartman from SouthPark

In said order:

Edison: I see a light!
Ford: Those are my headlights.
Caligula: “Adhuc Vivo!”
Cartman: This is my bigwheel, Now respect my authoritay!
Edison to Ford: Somehow I don’t think we belong here?
Ford to Edison: Me neither, let’s go!

*Edison and Ford hop in the car and start to leave.

Ford to Edison: Did you really invent light?
Edison to Ford: Yeah, but everyone gave the credit to God.
Ford to Edison: Don’t you just hate that?
Edison to Ford: By the way dude… Thanks for inventing the back seat.
Ford to Edison: You’re welcome. I have populated much of the planet there, but God took the credit for that too.

Caligula off in the distance: “But the madness and frenzy to which he gave way were so preposterous, and so utterly insane, that he went even beyond the demigods, and mounted up to and invaded the veneration and worship paid to those who are looked upon as greater than they, as the supreme deities of the world, Mercury, and Apollo, and Mars.”

Cartman to Caligula: Dude… You’re a dick… Respect MY authoritay!

*Drives off on his bigwheel leaving Caligula to his personality rants.

Caligula: Is this thing on?

Carl Jung: I’m dead
Mozart: Me, too.
Rush Limbaugh: I might as well be.
Carl Jung: I got the check last time.

Caligula : Berlusconi, you are an amateur.
Berlusconi : What can I do? I’m not an emperor, just a prime minister!
Caligula : Your orgies are nothing like mine!
The Pope : Silencio! Can’t you two idiotos see I’m watching Jersey Shore?!

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Dick Cheney : I feel the need, the need to bleed somebody. Heh. And I brought a friend. Say hello, my friend!

Jason of Friday the 13th :

Michael Moore : ( waking up ) Why am I tied up?

I am using one I chose, John Kerry.

Kerry: I’m telling you, it would be a mistake. He was my campaign adviser. Remember how that went?

Hillary: He has some really good ideas though, and lots of enthusiasm. I like men with enthusiasm.

Kerry: It’s your run, but I think it would be a big flop.

Hillary: Maybe if you heard some of his ideas you would change your mind.

Kerry: If you go with him, the only election you could hope to win would be, I don’t know, vice president of “Who the hell are they?”

Hillary: Gary, come here and tell John some of your ideas for my campaign.

Gary Busey: Okay, here we go, I was thinking the power of the thunder, and the thunder is the President, you know? Now, just follow me here, we take these cheerleaders see, and we paint like lightening bolts on their asses, so when they cheer, see, they jump up, and the lighting bolts remind everyone of the thunder, and Hillary is the thunder. See how that ties in? Hillary is the thunder and the thunder is the President, and the cheerleaders don’t wear any panties.

Kerry: And you don’t see how this can go south on you?

Hillary: Tell him that other thing, Gary.

Gary: Oh, yeah, okay. Hillary stands for Having intelligence, laughter, and love always ready, yearning, because she is yearning to be President to use her intelligence to bring laughter and love to the world, see, cause love is everything, and laughter brings love.

Hillary: See?

Kerry: I’ll tell you like I told my wife. It’s your catsup, season it how you want. My name won’t be on it.

Thomas Edison to Cartman and Caligula: What the fuck are you two doing to Henry Ford?

Nelson Mandela to Mel Gibson and George W.B.: What the fuck are you two doing to Justin Timberlake?

Indira Gandhi to Hillary Clinton and Ricky Gervais: What the fuck are you two doing to Godzilla?

Justin Beiber to Amelia Earhart and Freddy Mercury: What the fuck are you two doing to that rabbit?

Denzel Washington to Rush Limbaugh and Stephen King: What the fuck are you two doing to Carl Jung?

Captain James T. Kirk to Dick Cheney and Bruce Lee: What the fuck are you two doing to Sun Tzu?