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AnonymousWoman's avatar

What is the best way to prevent being attacked on this website because of a question?

Asked by AnonymousWoman (6533points) January 4th, 2012

If you ask questions on here, it will not surprise me if you have felt attacked at least once as a result of one of your questions. This question is for you, for me, and for everyone else who needs help with this. Who knows? Maybe someone you felt attacked by felt attacked by someone else, so please let’s all be nice here and make this thread about offering tips to each other. If you want to attack, please feel free to leave your coat at the door and be nice right now or leave this thread. Thank you in advance! :)

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28 Answers

everephebe's avatar

If you open your self to criticism due to a line of inquiry, perhaps thick skin is the best “prevention.”
Id est, sticks and stones luv. Be as lucid as you can, then, fuck ignore everybody else who isn’t helpful.

HungryGuy's avatar

I’m always being attacked for what I say around here. It’s part of living on the web…

JilltheTooth's avatar

Honestly? Never ask a question. A more workable answer would be to try notice I said “try”, it’s not always possible to ignore the people that are attacking. Obviously, never ask questions about hot-button topics, but sometimes even a misunderstanding about wording can set people off…sound familiar? And, yeah, it helps to grow a thick skin, consider the source, not rise to the bait, and all those other appropriate phrases.

AmWiser's avatar

There is no way to guarantee whatever question you ask, you won’t get attacked. This site is made up of a myriad of people and personalities…and there’s always one in the bunch that will want to bump heads with what you say. Just don’t worry about it.

rebbel's avatar

As far as I can remember and that usually isn’t longer than two days I have not been attacked because of a question I asked.
Maybe because I try to always be very careful with how I word my questions?
I use to put words in it like ”some people”, ”most (not all) people”, ”many times”, etc.
Or, in other words, I try to not use the words never and always when it comes to describing people(‘s behavior/characteristics/etc.) or situations.
And use a tilde when I try to be cheeky and there is a danger of a Jelly taking it the wrong way.
And pay all Jellies $10 to please not bully me.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I’ve never felt attacked. I’ve been in some pretty heated debates a few times, but never felt attacked. If anyone is being attacked, they need to flag the response so that the mods can remove it because personal attacks are against the guidelines of Fluther.

That being said, sometimes people get very vested in a conversation and feel as though the people disagreeing with them are actually attacking them. Disagreements, even very direct, blunt disagreements aren’t necessarily attacks, so it’s important to take a deep breath, step back for a moment, and really evaluate what’s going on if you start feeling like the discussion is getting to the point of attacks.

tranquilsea's avatar

I have never felt attacked for a question I’ve asked and I’ve asked a few that were hard questions.

I do the same thing @rebbel does. I make sure I don’t point fingers or denigrate anyone. When I express an opinion I make sure that I’m clear that not everyone may agree with me. But most of all I just appreciate everyone’s contribution…sometimes especially the ones I don’t agree with. After all I want as many opinions as I can get from a myriad of point of views as they give me a lot to think about.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

I never ask a question when I am angry or resentful, or when I think it might have some resentment in it.

Some people still attack, and I consider what the heck is going on in their heads making them so resentful, feel bad for them, and move on to the next answer.

SavoirFaire's avatar

The only guaranteed way is to never ask a question, but I don’t think it’s the best way because I believe asking questions is better than not asking them. I would say that being very careful about how you ask will help prevent some of the misunderstandings and bad feelings that lead to attacks, but not all. You can’t always predict how people will take things, though, so sometimes you just have to chalk it up to the learning process.

tranquilsea's avatar

And then some people are just jerks.

YARNLADY's avatar

On this website, you can’t avoid it, you just ignore it or flag it.

tranquilsea's avatar

@SavoirFaire lol, I remember that episode.

NostalgicChills's avatar

I just try to ignore people who have nothing courteous or helpful to say. CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is okay though.

saint's avatar

It’s only a chat site. I wouldn’t worry about it.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I don’t worry about it much in fluther. There’s only only one member here who is consistently an a-hole and a few more who are more snarky but I already expect it and so it’s no biggie. Sometimes, it’s funny and then I can appreciate them more.

chyna's avatar

If you can’t just ignore the remarks, step away from the question. I’ve had to do that before.

syz's avatar

It’s an open forum, with all kinds of people, on the internet. You could claim that bunnies are cute and someone will attack you – it’s the nature of the beast. To expect otherwise is to be disingenuous, or at best, naive.

incendiary_dan's avatar

No, I only get attacked when I challenge someone’s assumptions. That’s usually in answers.

Bellatrix's avatar

All of the above plus don’t ask questions when you really just want people to confirm your own opinion/attitude is right. Be open to hearing all sides of the discussion. That doesn’t mean you can’t challenge the views presented or question the poster about what they mean or argue the point. Just do not get all up-in-arms if people do not agree with you though. Ask a question with the purpose of canvassing a range of views on the topic being discussed.

Also, if you are posting your opinion, it is just that. Don’t be surprised if people say they don’t agree with you. Especially if your view is fairly extreme.

Other than that, flag if it is a personal attack and wear big girl/boy panties and ignore people who disagree in a way that is not particularly diplomatic. As long as they disagree with the idea being presented, that isn’t an attack to me.

AshlynM's avatar

You have more of a chance of being attacked on Youtube than on fluther.

everephebe's avatar

Stephen Fry on youtube comments.

tinyfaery's avatar

Just do as you please and dont let the “attacks” bother you. You haven’t really lived if you have never offended anyone.

Blueroses's avatar

Huh, that’s odd. The permalink on the post above mine says it was posted “0 milliseconds” ago. I hadn’t seen that precise a time before…. but I digress

If I’m going to ask something I believe might be misinterpreted, I PM the proposed Q off to a trusted friend and take advice on rewording.

Paradox25's avatar

Ask your questions in the general section.

Blackberry's avatar

Unless the question is about something trivial like baking advice or pet advice…...This is the internet, and I don’t know what else to say other than that. I don’t see many people going to a club, or a new workplace, or someone’s house and trying to change things to accomodate them. It’s customary to adapt.

ratboy's avatar

Don’t ask.

Rarebear's avatar

I actually love it when people attack me. It means I can take off my gloves.

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