My friend got raped and wants to sue, how can she go about this?

Is she looking to pursue a criminal complaint? That would help a lawsuit.

Was there medical evidence at the time? Was she examined? Did she tell adults at the time? It will be very difficult to pursue this after so many years. Is she sure that she wants this? A failure could be like being raped all over again.

@marinelife No, unfortunately no medical evidence. My initial reaction was that this was going to be hard, and probably not possible. But I decided to do some research anyway. I’m pretty sure a lot of other people know about this. I have to ask.

Wait a minute, what about her therapy, psychologists, and all that jazz?

Would monetary gain help her heal? I ask since you said ‘sue’. I have no idea regards laws and time having past. Plus having no evidence could hinder this process. If she needs to heal from this perhaps therapy. Or even better speaking out. To women about reporting such crime. Too many victims don’t speak out at the time. Sadly another one got away with it until next time. Her stance against this silence could assist others. And herself to move away from the role of victim. Sorry I couldn’t assist with the legal aspect.

If she knew who it was, and there was no criminal charge filed, it’s going to be rough sailing.

I’m not a lawyer.

If no criminal charges were brought against him and it’s been too long to prove it happened (no, an AIM conversation won’t help), then according to the law the rape never occurred. Building a lawsuit on a crime for which there is no record will definitely be difficult. What exactly is she trying to sue for? Money?

I’d talk to a lawyer.

Yes, the statute of limitations for crimes against a person as a minor does not expire until after the child is an adult – I’m not sure how many years. Her best bet would be to talk to some lawyers about her case, to see if she has any chance of getting criminal charges filed – at the very least to protect other kids from this person. For all she knows, there might be suspicions against her perpetrator in other cases, and this might be beneficial.

LSNJ.org is a non-profit for civil cases, but they might be able to direct her to someone who can help with the criminal charges before pursuing a civil complaint.
AVVO.com is a site where you can post questions online and get free advice from lawyers. I used it for motor vehicle incident questions.

A civil suit has a much lower threshold for the burden of proof than a criminal case (that’s why O.J. Simpson won the criminal case but lost the civil one). If she sought punitive damages that were to be paid to some victim of rape charity, I wonder if that would help tip things in her favor. I mean why would someone go through all of that with no benefit to themselves? IANAL.

So very sad.

Even though the burden of proof under civil law (preponderance of evidence) is significantly lower than that of criminal law (beyond a reasonable doubt), your friend really has no evidence at all. She wasn’t medically examined; she didn’t report the incident; there were no witnesses; she didn’t keep any physical evidence.

I’m going to ask something out of full kindness and concern—would your friend consider dropping the lawsuit idea and, instead, get counseling to heal her emotional and mental wounds? I understand that she wants to see this man be held accountable for what he did, but that just seems unlikely. Fixing her own life might be a much better route.

Look in the mirror and ask yourself honestly why she is doing this.
-To prevent it from happening to other women?
-Vengeance/Revenge?
-To collect money?
Which is most important to her?

As long as it is not slander, she can use social media to spread the word and destroy the guy without using the court system. She can write blog and leave it searchable so anyone who ever googles his name will see it.
Will that make her feel better?

The best time to act would have been the one hour after the offense. At a bare minimum she needs to become an advocate for other women and get that word out.

If the only evidence you have is a conversation that you have on a document, they could say you did that yesterday it will basically come down to her word against his which is the sad truth. I’m sorry but this is how so many of these guys keep getting away with this. The only solid evidence against a raper is DNA from a rape kit. I am deeply sorry for your friend.

Wait… I’ve been thinking about this. What is the age of consent in NJ?
N.J.S.A. 2C:14–2. Sexual assault
How old was he exactly? How old was she exactly?. I see that Age of Consent in NJ is 16.
In NYS a 21 year old who has sex with a 16 year old is guilty of Rape 3rd – a felony. No physical evidence is necessary. All they need is a confession from the guy saying he did it and they can do that by using a court ordered phone tap and having her call him.
Is there any chance she was 15? and he was 19 or over?
She won’t get money but she will have the “satisfaction” of watching his life go down the toilet.

@LuckyGuy “As long as it is not slander, she can use social media to spread the word and destroy the guy without using the court system.”

We don’t want this young lady to end up on the wrong end of a legal proceeding. If she were to publicize her story and damage the guy’s reputation, yet be unable to demonstrate that her words are true, she’d be bait for a defamation suit.

Just for the record, if I were ever raped (heaven forbid, and may it never happen), I wouldn’t report the incident. I wouldn’t submit to a rape kit. I’d refuse to tell my story to the police.

One violation is enough.

@SadieMartinPaul I would not report it either. I wouldn’t want to be a suspect when the guy was found floating face down in the river with his genitals missing.

You are clearly a more reasonable person than me. If it was truly a violent, forced rape, my mission in life would be to absolutely crush the guy any way I could. For the rest of his life I would have him looking over his shoulder. (I realize I am taking a guy approach. Sorry, It’s the testosterone.~)
Presumably the young woman has few assets that can be targeted by a defamation suit. Hopefully she has enough evidence to prove her statements – therapy session receipts, counseling, her old clothing etc.
If she is lying and mislead the guy then all bets are off. Only she and he know the truth.

A civil suit asking for enough to cover her therapy and such doesn’t seem unreasonable. I think she would be looked upon more favorably if she keeps it reasonable, which could be good for her because this sounds like it is probably a tough case to win.

@LuckyGuy She was 15.

Rape by a friend is difficult I know from experience. I didn’t say anything. Healing herself is the priorty now.

!%? And he was more than 4 years older? That sounds like this subset of 2C 14–2
“Aggravated sexual assault is a crime of the first degree.
.....
c. An actor is guilty of sexual assault if he commits an act of sexual penetration with another person under any one of the following circumstances:

(1) The actor uses physical force or coercion, but the victim does not sustain severe personal injury;
......

(4) The victim is at least 13 but less than 16 years old and the actor is at least four years older than the victim.
Sexual assault is a crime of the second degree.”

If she wants to get him she needs to trick him into a confession while the police are listening.