Social Question

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

What should never be said during a job interview?

Asked by SadieMartinPaul (9027points) July 11th, 2013

“I’m a dependable, hard-working person.” (Does that really need to be said? If you’re not dependable, and if you goof-off all day, don’t you get fired quickly?)

“I’m a people person!” (Bleah!)

“I’m pro-active, detail-oriented, and have problem-solving skills.” (These are overused, deflated, and meaningless phrases. All you’re really saying is, “Well, I’m not a chimpanzee.”)

“So, like, how long do I need to, like, be here every day and, like, how many breaks will I get?”

“Ooh! Sorry, but I need to take this cellphone call.”

“Do you ever press charges?” (Ok, I tossed-in that one for fun.)

“Are you cool with me showing up drunk or hungover?” (Ditto)

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26 Answers

marinelife's avatar

There’s not a drug test, is there?

elbanditoroso's avatar

“I murdered my previous manager, just so you know”

zenvelo's avatar

“Let me see if my current boss will let me fit the schedule here into my break time”.

“I can’t be here at 8, only by 8:25. They don’t let me out of the jail until 8.”

This is social, right?

Coloma's avatar

If you don’t treat me well you can take this job and shove it. Of course, this is always what I am thinking. lol

rojo's avatar

Um, what?

said taking out one earbud

Sunny2's avatar

“Excuse me, but you have spinach on your front tooth.”

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

How many sick days do I get?
Is it okay to fish off the company pier?

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Nice butt, wanna have a drink after the interview?

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

“It’s nice to meet you, sir. Oh…it’s nice to meet you, ma’am.”

“You have lots of [sports team] paraphernalia. Why do you support a team that sucks so badly?”

ucme's avatar

Sweet baby Jesus riding a bike but you’re an ugly bastard though.

YARNLADY's avatar

Is it OK for me to take MY religious holidays off? I’m not Christian.

flutherother's avatar

Can you smell that?

Ron_C's avatar

“Name your price and I’ll under-cut it by at least 10%”

Judi's avatar

I had someone tell me about her repeated illnesses.

glacial's avatar

I have a two-week vacation planned for next month. That’s not a problem, is it?

Ron_C's avatar

@glacial that actually happened to one of my daughters. She interned for a company and they offered her a job that was supposed to start after her wedding which was the day after she graduated.

The company called and asked her to start earlier and offered an extra $5k. She negotiated a start date, cut a day or two off of her honeymoon and still got the extra $5k. My daughters are very very smart.

glacial's avatar

@Ron_C Well… yes… but that’s hardly the typical “job interview” scenario!

OneBadApple's avatar

“That blonde girl in Accounting with the huge tits we passed by in the hallway…..what’s her story ?”

Blondesjon's avatar

Fuckin’ A man. Fuckin’ A.

filmfann's avatar

I checked your Facebook page before the interview too. Your daughter is a total babe.

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

“Why do you have all those framed pictures of ugly people on your desk?”

mattbrowne's avatar

I’m the only one who can save your company.

OneBadApple's avatar

SMP, I happened to have a mouthful of morning coffee while reading your reply, and my keyboard almost paid the price for it.

HA HA, close call right there….

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

“Have you gained weight since my first interview?”

“Well, duh.”

“Awesome.”

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