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LeavesNoTrace's avatar

Why do I scratch my boyfriend in my sleep?

Asked by LeavesNoTrace (5677points) September 10th, 2015

My boyfriend and I are close sleepers, and I usually sleep with my head on my shoulder and my hand on his chest. However about 4–5x in the past six months he’s woken up to me digging my nails into his chest. Hard.

This is completely unintentional on my part since I’m deep asleep when it happens and unaware of what I’m doing. However, his yowling is usually enough to wake me and I immediately feel horrible. Also, I don’t think it’s related to anything I’m actually dreaming about as I can never remember dreaming when it happens.

I did some Googling and some people say that this is a symptom of stress or even PTSD, which I have been diagnosed with due to traumas from my past. However, I haven’t found any actually credible information on this and would like to get to the bottom of it.

For the time being, I’ve cut my nails short so I at least don’t draw blood. :/

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20 Answers

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I do all kinds of stuff in my sleep. I’ve redecorated rooms, crashed, and just about everything else. Maybe try some light gloves for a while? Why would you suspect PTSD?

LeavesNoTrace's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe I’ve never done anything that crazy! lol

I’m not sure if it’s related to PTSD but some people on forums (not always the most reliable source but a starting point at least) said that their doctors/therapists had made a connection between sleep clawing and PTSD.

gorillapaws's avatar

If I were your boyfriend I’d probably start wearing this for pajamas.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@LeavesNoTrace Laughs, that’s not the worst. I woke up half way down the stairway one night, just before the faceplant. I caught the railing. But it’s all through my family. But I have no idea on why the clawing.

LeavesNoTrace's avatar

@gorillapaws

Well, I know what to get him for our upcoming anniversary!

Seriously though, the poor guy said he felt like he had zombies clawing at his chest. I didn’t even know I was capable of such savagery!

Vincentt's avatar

Ha, @gorillapaws is an oddly appropriate username :P

rojo's avatar

Ok, just a WAG here but maybe sexual frustration.

LeavesNoTrace's avatar

@rojo

What’s a “WAG” in this context. And we have a pretty active sex life so I don’t think frustration is the problem.

rojo's avatar

WAG = “Wild Assed Guess”

msh's avatar

In your conscience life you may be facing something that makes you feel like you did in an uncomfortable past experience. When you relax and sleep, your brain sometimes goes over events of the day, concerns, coping, etc.
Only YOU can figure out whether it’s all about just working things through while sleeping- or are you a little upset with your guy? Just a little bit?
Not necessarily PTSD.
Until then…. Uh….mittens?
Nail-proof vest?
Learn to sleep holding hands only?
Good luck.

rojo's avatar

And maybe you are just kneeding him, not unlike a cat or kitten when it is cuddled up and contented. Ask him if he knows whether or not you are purring when you claw him.

SmashTheState's avatar

Scratching him may be a sign of subconscious aggression or resentment against him, hidden under a structure of evasion and denial. While you sleep, more primitive, unconscious processes take control of your body and lack the superego control of your waking mind. Try using suggestion to influence your subconscious. Before you go to sleep, say, out loud, “Tonight I will not scratch you. If I feel a need to express aggression, I will use my dreams to do so.”

rojo's avatar

Or, you might try saying “Tonight I will not scratch you. If I feel a need to express aggression, Aion naida kuin luonnonvaraiset ori ja hiosta kuten mare lämpöä!.”

It is worth a try and he might appreciate it.

whitenoise's avatar

Tried clipping your nails?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@LeavesNoTrace If I tell you this turns me on are you going to run into the night screaming. I’m bad, never denied that.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Is he of French origin? Is his name Claude? That would explain a lot!

I think there is nothing psychological – more physiological. Your muscles are contracting (which is normal, they do that at night) and you hand happens to be on him at the time.

Try drinking more water before bed, which has the effect or keeping your muscles more hydrated and possibly less likely to clench or tighten.

zenvelo's avatar

Why do you scratch him? Because he itches?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@LeavesNoTrace Or just tell he should be happy you don’t rest your hands on his crotch at night.

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