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Pandora's avatar

What could compel you to possibly lose the respect of your family?

Asked by Pandora (32211points) May 28th, 2016

I was discussing with my husband about Marco Rubio. He said some serious things about Trump and swore he would never support him. Now he’s willing to go out and stump for him.

He said he was getting out of politics and becoming a normal citizen. I imagined it meant he would be a lawyer or something. But I did believe him when he said his children respect for him mattered most.

I wondered how could anyone on one hand claim someone is going to be so horrible for our nation and is a con man on one hand and then swallow a big amount of crap pie so publicly? He claimed that he was ashamed of going down to Donalds level when he mentioned his hands because of his children, and yet he makes it so his children will see a man without principle or pride.

I’m sure he got something for his endorsement. But what would make any man be willing to look like a fool to their own family and lose their respect?

What would make you betray your own moral compass?
I’m also more interested about money, or position, not because you need it to save a family member, because I know if you love your family, people will almost do anything to save them.

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15 Answers

dappled_leaves's avatar

I don’t quite agree with your premise. You are assuming that Rubio was being honest when he claimed that he would lose his children’s respect for “stooping to Trump’s level”. Whether or not his children care what he does in his political life (and we don’t know whether they care or not), Rubio probably doesn’t believe that his actions will cost him their respect. Not in so serious a way as to endanger his relationship with them, anyway.

He is not betraying his own moral compass, because he was lying when he originally said that the stakes were so high for him.

But as to the question itself, I don’t ignore my own moral compass when making decisions. This doesn’t guarantee that my family will never lose respect for me. People lose respect for family members without good cause all the time, for example, differences of opinion about religion, politics, or sexuality. I don’t base my moral decisions on how other people will react to them.

Pandora's avatar

@dappled_leaves Good point. But I’m not talking about everyday things. Let’s pretend you are Rubio or in a similar situation and wasn’t lying the first time.
What would make you at least be a traitor to your own beliefs, not in a private way but a very public way.

BTW, I’m only using Rubio as an example because he is currently such a prime example of someone having to swallow their words. I’ve been trying to think what would make me shame myself in front of a whole nation, not only shaming myself but my family as well, and other than to save someone, I don’t think I could ever do such a thing. I would have to go into hiding for the rest of my life.

Call_Me_Jay's avatar

Conservatives will soon all be on board touting Trump as the Best Republican EVER!!

The outlets like FOX and National Review which were outwardly anti-Trump will be touting him as the Second Coming from the convention until November. FOX already aired an hour-long hagiography, Meet the Trumps, which would embarrass North Korean state television with its boot licking.

Conservative leaders have the integrity of gravel and their followers have the memories of fleas.

Mimishu1995's avatar

You seem to be describing my asshole cousin. She does similar things on a daily basic. One shining example is when she spilled every of my secret I told her to the whole family for the second time. To make the matter worse, everyone knew it a secret because she didn’t forget to say I told her to keep it a secret. The first time was a bit more subtle but when my parents used my secret against me I knew it was her. The funny thing is that everyone knew she spilled my secret but acted as if that was nothing, maybe because they were nosy too.

I guess that she did that because she has no respect for me (we had a history of rivalry as kids), but that doesn’t explain why she also acted two-faced during her romantic affair. To make the story short, she had a lover who she claimed to be the only true partner she could find. The lover also had a good friend. My cousin would talk about him with the most beautiful words everyday, publicly to my family. But then they broke up, and suddenly she became a completely different person, bashing everything about him and even claimed that she made a huge mistake in life to hook up with him. She said that she wouldn’t date anyone again until she was more mature, the only a few days later she proudly announced her interest in the lover’s friend! And only after a short time later she was back viewing him as a stranger. My family guessed that she wasn’t interested in the two boys all along and only wanted to date them for some reason we are yet to find out.

These are just some examples. I feel like her entire life is a lie. Maybe each time she pulls out her tricks she has a different aim in mind. Maybe she does tell the truth, but then screws up somewhere during the process and needs some lies to save face. Or maybe she just has no conscience at all.

jca's avatar

I think if I quit my job and laid around all day doing nothing and then asked them to borrow money repeatedly, that wouldn’t be a good way to keep their respect.

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

Rubio is a young, extremely ambitious politician with an eye toward living in the White House someday. I expect nothing less from him.

But as far as my family goes, substance abuse is a deal breaker for me and my family knows it. It goes way back in this family and has caused repeated loss of hard-earned fortunes and severe, widespread emotional devastation since at least before the Civil War. I will help a family member find a rehab, support them both financially and emotionally, and I will tell them what I know as a former rehab nurse—as long as they are truly doing the work required to get better. But when they are in abuse mode and not making any effort towards their own rehabilitation, I consider them possessed by their need for the substance, unreliable, untrustworthy, weak and they represent a very real danger to the family. So, I treat them as such. They are pariahs.

It is fashionable to talk about how a person doesn’t get better until they reach their personal rock bottom. Well, I tell them, I will gladly help you to do that. This is not a very popular stance among some of my family members who take a more gentle approach toward the few who fall into drugs and alcohol. But my experience tells me I am right on this one and I am uncompromising.

JLeslie's avatar

Rubio earns his money through politics, and providing money is part of how men feel they are worth something. It’s very easy to have principles and integrity when one thinks they are going to be just fine financially, but when push comes to shove some people make compromises they never wanted to make. Even when people have enough money, a man in the middle of his working career is going to have a hard time feeling that he is not financially productive in the present, no matter how much money sits in his bank account. Especially, in macho cultures. He could go back to lawyering, but it appears he still wants to schmooze in the political realm instead. At least for now.

Another way to look at it is he was full of it previously. He said what he said when he was still in the running, because he thought his people would respect him for it.

Also, Trump says, his lawyers say, that the contract the republicans signed to support the nominee is legally binding. If that’s true, Rubio has to breach his contract if he doesn’t support Trump.

Candidates would be better served not to be too horrible to each other during the primaries. All the two faced stuff is stupid. It’s fine if they have some negative things to say, or contrasting policies, but to outright use words like “never” and “respect” in the context of not having respect for the candidate or not being able to respect themselves if they support another candidate, well that shows naïveté and ignorance about how this process usually goes.

Pandora's avatar

@JLeslie I guess a legal binding contract would mean he would have too, but Jeb Bush, (at least last I heard) isn’t backing Trump.
@jca Rubio still has a couple of months as a senator. He’s still getting a pay check. He would also have no problem working in a law firm in Florida. He has a law degree I believe. He could probably earn more money chasing ambulances in Florida than he is making right now as a senator. Of course the only difference is he will actually have to physically work.

Call_Me_Jay's avatar

Trump says, his lawyers say, that the contract the republicans signed to support the nominee is legally binding

Trump says a lot of things. They are not often true. He can contradict himself in a single sentence, like when he said “I don’t want guns in classroom and teachers should have guns in classrooms.”

And surprise, surprise, what have we here?

When pushed again by moderator Anderson Cooper about whether he’d respect the so-called “Loyalty Pledge” a stage full of then-candidates agreed to during the very first GOP debate in Cleveland last August, Trump was more direct:

“No, I don’t anymore. No. We’ll see who it is. And he was essentially saying the same thing.” CNN March 29, 2016

JLeslie's avatar

@Call_Me_Jay Like I said, “if that’s true.” If. I’m not saying it is true. I think the whole promise to support the candidate is idiotic and the media asking that question over and over again the last 6 months is stupid to me too. The obsession with that question is stunning to me. I don’t mean the OP’s Q, I mean asking a candidate to make the commitment.

Ironically, Trump, was the one who hesitated to make such a promise, and at the time I gave him credit for it.

Call_Me_Jay's avatar

I assume they asked for the commitment out of fear that Trump would run independently if he lost the nomination.

He wasn’t getting much support in the party. It wouldn’t require much of an adjustment to his operation to go independent.

JLeslie's avatar

@Call_Me_Jay I think he has every right to run as an independent if he wants too. It’s just horrible to me how the parties try to control things.

I just saw a guest on Fareed Zakaria say he will not vote for Trump and he hopes he loses in the biggest way ever so the Republicans finally learn that someone who says such horrible things about minority groups will never be entertained as a Republican candidate again. I paraphrased there. I didn’t know the guest, Brett someone. I got the impression he was a Republican. I would think people like him would have preferred Trump be an independent.

Call_Me_Jay's avatar

If Trump ran as an independent he would split the conservative vote with the GOP and guarantee a Democratic blowout. That’s why they wanted him to pledge support.

Regarding re-evaluating themselves – after Romney got trounced, the Republican National Committee did an ‘autopsy’.

They said the party was appealing only to old white men, and needed to drop the bigotry against immigrants, minorities, and gays.

They said the party was “driving in circles on an ideological cul-sac” and just talking to the few people who already vote Republican.

So they know they’re the party of angry old white people. But they just can’t help themselves – I guess it just feels too good to be angry.

JLeslie's avatar

^^I know their concern was/is it would split the vote. I keep saying maybe a “conservative” should run as an independent if the right wingers want someone to vote for who they like better than Trump. People need to start voting their conscience and stop playing all the strategic guessing. Same with politicians pledging their support.

Romney could have appealed to a broader audience easily. All he needed to do was sound more like he did when he was Governor. Bowing to the right screwed him. It helped him win the primaries, but lose the election in the end.

Pandora's avatar

Well there is always the option for Gary Johnson if people are not happy with any of their candidates. Apparently he is going to be on the General Election Ballot in all 50 states.
Gary Johnson

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