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Sunshinegirl11's avatar

Is it bad to be picky with friends?

Asked by Sunshinegirl11 (1110points) February 28th, 2018 from iPhone

I used to think people didn’t want to be friends with me, and that’s why I didn’t have friends. Now that I’m really putting myself out there and trying to change my ways, I realize that everyone pretty much likes me. I’ve found that I’m just picky with friendships.

Is this bad? Can I change? I’m not picky as in that I judge everyone and I’m rude, I’m picky in that I get tired around certain people and want to be alone. And I just can’t see hanging out with someone in the future who makes me feel that way.

Advice?

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8 Answers

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Most young people are more worried about their persobal problems to notice your problems.

jonsblond's avatar

Not at all. One or two trustworthy friends is better than twenty. Be picky.

Kardamom's avatar

I’m not quite sure what you mean, or want.

Friendship is a two way street. You have to be interesting (enough) and accomodating towards other folks.

You don’t need to have lots of friends, one or two is good, as long as you really like them, and feel comfortable with them.

Being an extreme introvert is OK, as long as you don’t mind being alone most of the time. Most people, even introverts, like having at least one (or preferably several) people in whom they can confide, and share common interests.

Just try not to discount people for what type of person you perceive them to be. Get to know people. Let them know your limitations early on, but don’t “write off” people because they don’t fit some random list of how someone should be.

You can have lots of friends, who you like, and who like you. Don’t be standoffish, or “picky” or have a list of characteristics (other than kindness, empathy, intelligent, nice) for the people who might become potential friends. Friends come in all sorts of different packages.

You don’t have to like everyone. But don’t discount people simply because they are not loner/introverts, or else you will be missing out on a lot of potential joy. Just let your new and old friends know that you require a lot of alone time and down time.

Zaku's avatar

No. It’s healthy to be picky about friends as long as your reasons are sound. Problematic friends can be much worse than no friends, and can keep you from becoming friends with un-problematic people.

si3tech's avatar

@Sunshinegirl11 I think it is smart to “pick your friends”.

seawulf575's avatar

We generally have lots of acquaintances or social friends, but usually only have a few very close friends. And those are the ones that will always be a joy to have around.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Sounds like me. Instead of finding things to pick at, I try to find something I love about them, or can learn from them. I’m still picky, my husband says I’m condescending…my face just doesnt hide my feelings well lol. It can be a bit lonely though, but it’s more safe.

StarFlag's avatar

It’s not bad to be picky in finding friends. The point is you can be friends with anyone but in your self just select the people whom you consider real friends. Don’t reject people who wanted to be friends with you. Be friendly and make your world happier than before.

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