Social Question

janbb's avatar

Are you feeling less like socializing of late?

Asked by janbb (62896points) 1 week ago

I don’t know if it’s still post-pandemic or the fact that I’m older, but I often just feel like hanging at home rather than going out. This weekend I have four days in a row of social engagements and while each has been pleasant while I’m there, I’ve been reluctant to go and happy to get home again. Yet, if I just stay in, I’m get bored and lonely eventually.

How about you? (I’m not really looking for solutions, just raising an issue for discussion.)

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15 Answers

Dutchess_III's avatar

Mmm. I prefer not to move much cuz it hurts. But I wish more people would visit.
But I’m OK by myself (with Rick).

canidmajor's avatar

I’m still somewhat restricted by post Covid fatigue, but I am not too unhappy to be way less social these days. I had no idea I was so good at being a hermit until the pandemic. If I get bored, I call someone and chat, otherwise I hang with my dog and read and watch TV.
I try to get out socially at least once or twice a week, but that seems to be enough.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

GQ

I do enjoy going out, but I’ve realized I have limits. Last weekend, we had an event Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Last night, we went to the opera. Today, we are doing blessed nothing. It feels good to nap anywhere and anytime we want like our cat.

JLeslie's avatar

A little less like socializing with other people, but still want to get out of the house and have fun. The last seven or eight years I have wanted to have as much fun as possible, and it is related to getting older and feeling like I should grab the fun while I can, and also it has to do with wanting to feel free.

Covid I was very careful and did not socialize much at all. Being home was so much less stressful than going out, but luckily there was a lot I could do outside and not have to get close to a lot of people. I still am more careful than I was before covid. It is easy to see how people become agoraphobic. So much less to worry about staying at home, but I don’t really worry that much in general when I am out and about, but just saying I can understand it, because when something does go wrong it is so annoying to deal with it.

For me, there is a lot in the news the last eight years that is incredibly stressful, frustrating, scary, and saddening, and it can affect my mood. My opinion is shut off the TV, stop reading the news every day, take a break from social media if yours is full of disheartening news, and take a break.from it all. The break can be as long or short as you want, but change the pattern. I only watch a lot of politics on Sunday, except right before an election. Every day watching, reading, or listening to politics for hours was not good for me.

I have to compartmentalize to not miss out on life. Usually, I can be sad or want to hibernate away from people, but then flip a switch, shove any distraught feelings aside, and go out and enjoy what is in front of me. Sometimes the somber mood is overwhelming and I just need to wallow in it.

janbb's avatar

@JLeslie I agree with you that I want to have good times while I am still able to be fit and active.

chyna's avatar

I do enjoy my home and staying in as much as possible. But I get out on occasion. Like you @janbb I enjoy being out but enjoy getting home.
@JLeslie I felt news was stressing me out a lot too so I only watch the local news and a little of the evening news. That’s enough to stress me out a bit. I prefer working on my hobbies and enjoying my life than to be pressured into others scary imaginations. You are too young to worry yet. Enjoy life while you can.

jca2's avatar

Me, too, @janbb. I don’t know why. I have speculated that I’m becoming an introvert, although I don’t have a problem talking to people and I enjoy it.

As for my friends, I’ve cut a few loose but not officially. I stay in touch on FB but I’ve chosen not to call and try to arrange dinner dates and stuff like that. My circle is getting smaller.

I go out occasionally, and I do other things to keep busy (like volunteer once a week, a book group once a month and a few other local groups a few times a month). I like to be home at night. I love hanging out in bed with the computer and TV and some stuff to read.

I remember when the pandemic came, I was so happy. I was so happy and relieved to not have to go to work,not have to go out with friends, not have to see people except on rare occasions I would meet friends for shopping or walks. That part of the pandemic I didn’t mind at all. “Stay home!” No problem. Thanks!

LifeQuestioner's avatar

I’m an introvert so I value my time alone. I do like to be around people, but usually after having been around others for a couple hours, I’m pretty tired and ready to go home. And nowadays I don’t like driving much anyway because there’s so many bad accidents in my part of town, just from people driving crazy.

JLeslie's avatar

When I was a kid I loved being with people, but I hated having to go to school, having to do homework, and having to wake up early. I also loved watching TV and being able to rest and not feel exhausted. When I worked in retail as a young adult, I often felt like my body was hit by a truck from the job being so physical and long hours. Being able to stay home and have my body not hurt and watch TV is like doing childhood things that I loved. It’s similar to going out dancing for me.

@chyna Not too young. I already have a major artery narrowing around my heart, and high blood pressure that I don’t control well, because it is normal about ⅓ of the time, and I have many close genetic relatives who died or needed heart surgery younger than my age now. I also have friends who have died (one of my best friends from childhood) or become ill in their 50’s and can’t do the physical activities they used to. So much can go wrong. I don’t obsess about it, but it is a shift in thinking from when I was younger.

jca2's avatar

I live in a community on a lake that used to be a summer community until it became year-round in the 1970s or 80s. There are a lot of people that live here that used to come up in the summers in the mid 1900s and now their children and grandchildren and great-great grandchildren live here year round. It’s a great community and I am very happy here. There are occasionally dinners at the pavilion or in the summer, parties on the beach, for a small fee or it’s pot luck, and that’s one thing that people love about living here. When they have those events, sometimes I will attend, and sometimes I think about having to make small talk with friends and neighbors and I say “naaaah.” It’s easier to eat at home and relax than to go there and make bullshit talk for a few hours.

ragingloli's avatar

I have felt less like socialising since I can remember.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I still want to party but half the time I’m in a wheel chair!

jca2's avatar

I have been trying to see my elderly friends, because another change I had during the pandemic was a real realization that life is short. When I do see friends, it’s kind of like “let’s just do it, because months go by and then it’s a year or two.” There’s a woman I used to work with, who exchanges Christmas cards with me, and always in the card, she writes “call me” with her number, and I never call her. I have been thinking lately, “I better call her.” I googled her the other day and she’s 80, so I have more of a urgent feeling now about needing to call her.

i’ve had friends, in the past, that I neglected to keep in touch with and then they died. Social media is good for keeping in touch with people but not everyone is on social media, especially among the elderly.

flutherother's avatar

I put it down to getting older. I used to like parties and talking to strangers now the thought appals me. I would much rather stay at home and read, watch television and share a few words with my wife.

jca2's avatar

Funny story I was just thinking of about the woman I mentioned above. When she and I worked in the same department, about twenty years ago, she worked as a secretary for two guys, doing contracts. She was sweet and shy and older at that time, and maybe she was not the most efficient worker, I don’t know. Anyway, one day I saw her in the bathroom and she was crying. I asked her what’s the matter? She said the two guys were mean to her. I said “awww, Mary, don’t cry. Don’t let them upset you. Tell them to go fuck themselves.” She used to always laugh and tell that story to people, how @jca2 told her to tell her bosses to go fuck themselves. She got a real kick out of it. (Mary is not her real name).

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