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Ranimi23's avatar

What does she want from me? Why doesn't she give up and leave me alone?

Asked by Ranimi23 (1917points) August 11th, 2009

I know her few month. I like her, but she is trying to get over her last boyfriend (5 years relationship) as I was told by her friend. So I got the message. It is not a good time and I don’t know if she into me. She added me to her Facebook but never replay or write about anything.

But, I don’t know why, I always feel like she is not certain about something. She always flirts with me, ask me how I feel and more, but I told her I don’t want to be on the friend zone, I don’t like it.

I think I should remove her from my facebook because I am feeling stuck like I am waiting to something to happen with her and nothing is happening at all. Don’t know what she really want from me.

What to do?

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14 Answers

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whatthefluther's avatar

If she is just out of a five year relationship this is a tough time for her and she is probably confused and cautious about other men and dating. If you are just trying to get lucky, you may succeed during her rebound period. If you are interested in her for a long term relationship, be there as a friend but do not take advantage of an opportunity and communicate that to her.

figbash's avatar

wtf is right. She’s just getting back out into the world and wants to meet new people. She’s cautious and is feeling things out, too. One other thing to consider is how the previous relationship ended. She may have had some damage to her ego, and would like some assurance that men still find her attractive.

marinelife's avatar

Why not tell her how you feel? Say something like, “I like you, and I would like for us to go out. I know that you are still getting over a relationship. When you are ready, if you would like to try dating, please give me a call.”

Good luck.

Malcrony's avatar

Make the message Clearer. if that doesn’t work forget about her, if she really likes you at all, she’ll come to you.

shortysith's avatar

being that i have been in her shoes, you have two options really. Be her friend, which you are not really wanting to do, or step out of her life for a while. Make a point though! If you like her, tell her, and say when she is ready or wants to, give you a call. Have fun anyways because if she isn’t ready, why sit around and feel like poo??

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

Bad timing on this one. Chances are you’ll be stuck in either the friend zone or become the rebound guy.

Bri_L's avatar

Boy I understand your confusion. This is a really tough one. Maybe her friend could answer some of your questions?

ubersiren's avatar

Ask her straight out what exactly it is that she’s looking for. Tell her to make up her mind, and if she can’t you’ll make it up for her. If she’s still driving you nuts just cut her off completely. No facebook, no public acknowledgment, no texting, etc. Don’t leave any room for interpretation; make it clear and concise that you want her gone, if that’s what you really want.

Edit- I also agree with @shortysith that if you really do like her, make sure to be clear about that, too. Let her know that you want a romance with her or not. Nothing in between.

Link's avatar

First, don’t stress over it. Second, don’t worry about removing her from your facebook page. In fact don’t worry at all. Play it cool, and try not to give her too much attention in this regard. Instead, put a lot of space between the times you guys interact, and the next time you talk to her she’ll be wondering why you’re distant and not giving her the attention she wants . Avoid the topic altogether, and tell her that you’re going to the bar (or wherever) and that she should tag along. At the bar just be a man and make a move.

xzlslazcarter's avatar

i think that is great opportunity for ya, cos she just broke up with her bf, at that time, she really need someone to talk, so if you can be that person who can help her, you will get more what you want.

MerMaidBlu's avatar

Because of the fact that I’ve been in a similar situation, here’s what I have to say. It’s a good possibility that she isn’t very confident about dating someone new. She’s used to the guy she was with for five years, not you…at least not yet. Same goes for the comfort factor. You are a very new individual in her mind and that can mean something along the lines of another country or planet. There’s also a very good chance she still has some feelings lingering from the relationship and may not want to be unfair and lead you to believe she’s feeling something that she isn’t yet. Don’t take it personal, if you really are interested in her just let her know how you feel and that you aren’t sure if she ‘s in to you or not but that you’ll be there (without prejudice) if she needs to talk while explaining that you don’t want to be locked in the friend zone. Even if she never calls to talk to you about her relationship she’ll know that you’re not going to “turn your nose up” and she may feel more comfortable with you.

If all you’re wanting from her is a casual sex relationship than I wouldn’t put too much effort into any of it and look elsewhere. She’ll eventually get the message

Ranimi23's avatar

Hi all, I just want to update you. After 2 month we really didn’t talk much and I took a little step far from her, just to let myself get over her and move on with my life. Today I meet her and she started to talk a lot with me. She really opened before me, what she never done before. Now we talked about books and she asked if I can bring her the book I love to read now. I don’t know if I should give herr the book, it is maybe her way of letting be just friends which I don’t want. I want more than that.

I like this girl so I have asked her out 6 month ago. She said “no”. We remained friends since that time for several months. But, now she’s acting very strange near me. She can talk simply with all the guys out there but when I’m near by she is stressed and looking for my attention all the time, trying to develop conversations with me and say such obscure phrases.

What am I supposed to understand from her behavior now? I don’t want to ask her out again, I want her to ask me out if only she really want me this time.

Today we talked about books I read and she asked me if I can bring her the book I’m reading now. She said she likes the same books I’m reading. We found that we have the same Hobbies. Interesting!

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