How do you deal with difficult people in your life?

I have never met a person that i could not be friends with. i always wear a smile and i attempt to have a great personality…..but not always. have you ever met a person that you just did not like? you do not have to say a word, its just bad karma this person is giving off. i avoid these people. i also avoid people that have bad dispositions. i will help them, if they ask. other than that, no way. in society, you have to pick and chose the people you associate with. after all, like the old saying goes, “you are who you run with”. this is so true. criminals associate with other criminals, drug addicts the same and so on. chose wisely, its your life.

I try to avoid them and to avoid confrontations with them. If they are the type that stomps on the non-confrontational then I will get in their face.

First, I don’t take myself too seriously. I keep things light. With some folks I can get away with cracking a joke now and again, but I never laugh or crack a joke with people like this, unless it’s about myself, and so absurd, nobody can take it anything other than an obvious joke that means no harm.

If they are abusive, I document the behavior to the max. I also keep a very private diary of the interactions between me and the difficult person. (The paper trail is for the authorities, should things get out of hand.)

However, there is one time things did not go well at all. I got a new job, and the woman I was replacing (she had been promoted) set out to ruin my life. I tried to make friends, etc. but she was the favored one, and apparently could do no wrong (in spite of the fact that she was a felon, an ex-drug addict, had poor standards on just about everything). Anyway, things went along, and my boss just told me to ignore her or avoid her. That worked, until I had to put in my two-week notice. At that point, she escalated the abuse, and began to target me. One day she ran into me with the intent of knocking me down.

I complained to my supervisor. He told me he would not be allowed to do anything about the abuse, even though he sympathized with my problem. I finally called him up and told him I quit because I could not handle the stress, and I was concerned about getting hurt, my tires slashed, or whatever.

Apparently she is now the president’s “personal assistant”. It’s sick, because she talks like a trucker, and has no education.

Wait till they fall asleep, then pee on them.

With over the top, petulant, passiv. . .aw fuck it. . .what @trumi said.

i often separate myself from them slowly. it’s often difficult, but i’ve never been able to put up with their nonsense, it’s my self absorbed mind that allows me to break apart so i can attain the fullest of pleasure in my life.

Where I could, I have cut them out of my life
like saturated fat. When I can not, I block their energy out.

I try to keep those kind of people out of my life completely. But when forced to be in a social situation with someone like that, I keep my distance and try to bite my tongue as much as possible.

i tell them to shut the fuck up.

I distance myself from them when I can. If they are truly beligerent, I document meticulously and create the opportunities for them to get caught acting their worst. People don’t usually mess with me…........ twice. I’m much better to have as an ally than an enemy.

I usually tell them that I’m not interested or that your actions won’t change me. If they are more bellicose, the best solution is to leave. If those options don’t mollify them, the next step involves ductape and a closet.

Most everyone in my life is difficult in one way or another.

I deal with it by remembering that they’re human and that I’m no better.

I try to find a way to let them know how they affect the rest of the world. Always end up being friends and I always see that they take it upon themselves to get better.

I don’t usually share my secrets but I let you guys in on a technique Ive developed for dealing with difficult ppl I can’t avoid (family members, co-workers, teachers….) it’s called the “smile and nod”. You just let them do the talking while you give an occasional smile, nod your head to give the appearance that you are listening, and totally zone out mentally. “Hmmm, remember to buy milk. My feet hurt. Oh he’s trying to make a joke.” smile

Same way as I deal with most people. Silence.

It is all about respect!

I set boundaries and only let them go so far. I am usually perceived as a nice person. I am a decent person. If you provoke me by attempting to take advantage you will regret it. I become the BITCH that never forgets. I show no mercy to people that attempt to use me, my family or friends. It is odd to me that some people think a pleasant attitude indicates weakness and a lack of intelligence.

Yeah, it is tricky. I think to bear with them for some time is okay, if you have got time. But, if you really have to go, tell them so; most of times people agree. Try to tell them sorry first, and then tell that you have to go alone because of some reasons. I try not to turn them away, coz I have experiences that people I disliked (and hated, though in mind) helped me in difficult situations, while those I thought, just overlooked me or went away.

The more frequently you confront and handle difficult people, the easier it becomes. The amount of time it takes to prepare for a confrontation decreases. You become strong and tough.

When you confront and handle everyone around you, people respect you for your courage, your honesty and your control.

In other words, take the “bull by the horn” and tell this person how the “cow ate the cabbage!” And, if you really good at it, they will respect you more than ever!

I agree cotton.

To me, almost everyone is “difficult” F2F. I just avoid, avoid, avoid.

I’m patient or stubborn depending on your point of view and difficult people get tired of trying to get under my skin and go away. I can get along with just about anyone for short periods of time so those situations usually end peacefully. Like Mrs Rose says, smile and nod.

To be honest, at this point of my life, I must cut them out, for now anyway, even if I love them. Can’t take the arguements, the disagreements, and the over all shitty time we have together. It’‘s to much to take and still be positive in life, ya dig?

@ninjacolin i wish my friends were as proactive as yours.

i think everyone always wants whatever is demonstrably “best” for themselves. all i try to do and all i encourage them to do for me is show me where i’m weakest and why. they become proactive on their own once they realize there is a more desirable way to live available to them.

I generally ignore them if I’m forced to be around them.

Give them a vigorous rectal exam while singing my best operatic baritone

I find almost everyone difficult. For instance – I find your question to be annoying. You have to deal with all kinds in life. Most are a pain, but the few rewarding connections you make along the way make the idiots tolerable.

I try to make friends with them. Failing that, I generally try to aoivd them.

Monty python, the search for the holy grail:

“Run away, Run away!”

@DrMC

“It’s only a flesh wound!” : D

I’m in a situation like that right now. My aunt is bipolar. She’s been kicked out of her house and is staying with a friend, but the friend isn’t there most of the time. My aunt also has some kind of cancer and she’s undergoing chemo.

I talked to her last night, and she was saying she has no one to take care of her. Apparently she has alienated everyone else in the family with her manic episodes. Now she wants to stay with me, but I can’t help her any more than her friend can. I work, and I have a wife and children. I feel really badly for her, and I would love to help her, but I can’t give her what she needs.

So it’s difficult. I feel a lot of guilt about turning her away, but I know she could get manic and do I don’t know what. Maybe trash the house, or yell at the kids or hurt me or my wife in some way. Yet, she has cancer and she’s manic and her husband and children have thrown her out (she didn’t tell me any details about that). I wish I knew what to do.

I have learned to deal with everyone in life with the exception of one person.

Who knows how it will turn out. I try to be at my best always.

@john65pennington

Couldn’t have said it better. Great, great answer.

@john65pennington GA and very well said <hugs>
@wunday that really is a terrible position to be in, I hope that things work out but you are right, you do have to do what is right for your wife and children, they depend on you. Can you maybe get help for your Aunt from social services? If she’s attending hospital for treatment they usually have people who can help? I hope all is well for you, take care <hugs>
This is a really interesting thread, great answers everyone <hugs fellow jellies> xx

It really helps to have appropriate boundaries. I love the saying, “You teach people how to treat you.”