Social Question

partyparty's avatar

What do you think about 'air kissing' when people greet you?

Asked by partyparty (9167points) January 11th, 2010

Does it annoy or upset you when people / friends greet you with a hug and an ‘air kiss’? Should they kiss you on the cheek?
Is ‘air kissing’ acceptable?
How would you prefer to be greeted by friends?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

56 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I think a hug is enough of a gesture – no need to air kiss.

HTDC's avatar

Air kissing is embarrassing to say the least. I wouldn’t do it because it just looks stupid, but that’s just me.

Blackberry's avatar

They do that a lot here in New Jersey. I don’t care either way, I thought it was strange when I first got here and met my girlfriends sister for example because she did it without hesitating, some people are just more friendly in that aspect.

Silhouette's avatar

Pretentious but considered custom in some countries.

OpryLeigh's avatar

It certainly doesn’t upset me but I do find it pretentious. A simple hello is fine when being greeted by most people, I usually prefer that than any physical gesture. For family and close friends a hug and/or a real kiss is more down to earth and comfortable for me than a prissy air kiss!

Cruiser's avatar

Society has fostered a germ-a-phobic mentality now with the hand sanitizer craze. I’d rather have an air kiss than the real deal especially from really old relatives. Nothing grosses me out more than really old germs. yuck!

scotsbloke's avatar

I’d pee myself laughing if anyone did that with me.
muagh, muagh! Daft as a brush.
A wee hug or shoogle of the hand is ideal!

dawn2k1's avatar

I think it is absolutely crazy. I mean come on. A hug will do just fine…LOL… This is a Great Question…

Axemusica's avatar

I prefer actual kissing on the check. that’s just me

Trillian's avatar

The air kiss is an affectation. I think it looks silly and fake. Lay one on me, give me a hug, shake my hand, whatever. I don’t know anybody who does this, and if someone tried it on me I’d probably make it a point to grab their face in both hands and kiss them soundly. Just to make the point.

Just_Justine's avatar

I think it is a great way to get close but not so close as to feel uncomfortable.

poisonedantidote's avatar

a handshake will do for me. or a verbal exchange “hi, yo, sup, etc..”. hugs are too intimate to share with just anyone. in fact there is more chance i would have sex with you than hug you. as for kisses, same applies. and air kiss is just nonsense.

cookieman's avatar

I’d prefer a bear hug with a little cheek grab.

sakura's avatar

No thanks to the air kissing my friend… a hug if I know you well a smile and a hello if not

CMaz's avatar

I never air kiss. You will just end up with a kiss.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

In Argentina a kiss on the cheek or sort of on the side of the head is the standard way to greet someone, after spending some time there, I came back doing it to everyone, and I’m sure they thought me quite odd. It’s all about what you’re used to.

Owl's avatar

I really think air kissing is silly. My practice is to give a smile and firm handshake to men and women I don’t know or know well, and usually to hug friends and/or kiss them on the cheek. I inherited my touchy-feely personality from my family.

JLeslie's avatar

This is totally cultural. Like my husband thinks it is very weird to hug without kissing. My friends in the midwest rarely kiss, always hug. My friends and relatives in NY are more likely to kiss cheeks or air kiss. sometimes with an added hug, sometimes not. My Latin American friends more likely to kiss, not hug at all except for close relatives (that would be my husband). European friends I sometimes get two kisses, one on each cheek.

I am fine with an air kiss (maybe we don’t want to mess up our make-up or leave a big kiss mark on your cheek), real kiss, hug, hug and kiss. If I was not so insane about not wanting to catch anything. All I ask is if you feel a cold coming on please stay away.

aprilsimnel's avatar

I’ve only seen it in movies as a trope for “rich ladies who lunch as battle.”

People actually do that? How ridiculous.

OpryLeigh's avatar

@scotsbloke Lurve for “shoogle”!

Pazza's avatar

I have found that only superficial and egotistical people who believe social protocol is law air kiss. These types of people need a good slap!

I have very close friends who I consider family who kiss me on the cheek out of affection, which makes meel feel all warm an fuzzy inside.

NOT THE BOY ONES MIND!.......

AB FAB

sjmc1989's avatar

People I don’t know well at all: Shake hands
People I know pretty well: Hug
People I know very very well: Kiss on the cheek and a hug
Air kiss is not on my list at all, it just isn’t me

JLeslie's avatar

@Pazza You are using Ab Fab as your source to make a judgement on the subject? Read my original answer. I think you are just being ethnocentric and judgemental. It just has to do with custom. You probably do what you do as a greeting because that is what others around you do, it is basically the same for everyone. I do in Rome as the Romans.

Resonantscythe's avatar

You mean when you hug and someone makes a kissing motion but doesn’t actually kiss you? It’s pretty stupid I think. I’m Dominican though, so i greet females with the hug&cheek kiss, but sometimes I’ll miss(because they exaggerate the head turn) and do this by accident. If I don’t wanna kiss their cheek for whatever reason I won’t mime the motion. I think the air kiss just came about through people not wanting the full contact.

Pazza's avatar

@JLeslie
You missinteretated my use of AB FAB, I’m merely saying thats how I view people who air kiss in my experience, my sister-in-law (now-ex yipeeeeee) used to nudge cheek-kiss, scocial protocol was more important to her than true affection, the ‘sweetie sweetie’ stuff you might say.

I’m not taring eveyone with that brush, but, in my experience I haven’t found anyone who isn’t egotistical and superficial that air kisses.

I think everyone who walks the earth older than two is judgemental, as for being ethnocentric, you don’t know me from adam, so you’ve just proved my point about being judgemental now haven’t you.

MMmmmwwwwa x

Said without predudice malice or frivolity darling.

LeotCol's avatar

Only once has a person air kissed me (at me?). I was left feeling a little disoriented and went for a sit down.

What the hell was that!?

daemonelson's avatar

I think it’s ridiculous. I really don’t understand the purpose, nor the thought behind such an act.

And on a completely unrelated note. This is crazy. It’s 7AM, over 30 degrees, and it’s just started pouring with rain. What the hell is going on?

JLeslie's avatar

@Pazza I see what you are saying now, why you referred to Ab Fab. And, I see that you are just generalizing about the people you have interacted with, fair enough. Just know not everyone who does an air kiss is like your SIL.

Siren's avatar

I think it’s a fad (it’s a fake kiss anyways) and will fade away. Then the real kissers will be the only ones left. I don’t do it, and tolerate those who do —except family, where it will not be tolerated! Only real kisses are allowed from them.

kruger_d's avatar

Seems WASPy to me. I think if someone tried on me I might laugh.

gemiwing's avatar

When I’m wearing full make-up I cannot tell you how much I appreciate an air kiss over wearing some other woman’s lipstick on my cheek, having to find a restroom and clean it off just to apply more foundation.

It’s a courtesy to me, not a commentary on how someone feels about me.

Siren's avatar

@gemiwing: Good point. Forgot about that “makeup” issue.

Ghost_in_the_system's avatar

It is about the wierdest affectation I have seen. The people that do it become jokes to me.

JLeslie's avatar

@Ghost_in_the_system Do you prefer bowing?

Ghost_in_the_system's avatar

Actually, yes. Not low or with great flourish, but you can give acknowledgement and greeting without looking as silly.

Pazza's avatar

If someone I knew really well whom I showed regular affection (ie kissed on the cheek, say family or really close friend) asked me not to kiss them on the cheek, or dare I say, shunned me, or backed off with a gesture that said “don’t touch me, I don’t want my make-up spoiled”, I wouldn’t be able not to feel offense. This person would also go down quite a few knotches on my reality scale and would probably forfeit any future affection.

I’m 34 years old and I don’t see my nan as often as I should, she’s the only grandparent I have left, and I love the idea of granny leaving a bloody great lipstick mark on my cheek. It speaks volumes about the love and affection she still holds in her heart for me.

I couldn’t see myself ever wanting my nan not to have these feelings for me just so I don’t have to have the embarrassment of walking round with a big rasberry stain on my face.

“come ere an giv uz a kiss nanna X”

Bluefreedom's avatar

I get hugs when people greet me, which are just fine, but no one gives me air kisses because they know better than to make that attempt with me. I just give off this magical vibe that reverberates with no air kisses, no matter what.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

As @trillian said, “Air kissing is an affectation!”

Hugs are great, so are kisses on the cheek or even both cheeks (think face not tush, people).

People who air kiss can indeed kiss my tush.

Jeruba's avatar

@kruger_d, that’s odd—the only people I know who do this are Jewish, and mostly from the East Coast.

The first time I encountered the custom, as an adult (my Jewish friends didn’t do this when we were kids), I mistook the gesture and thought it was meant to be a kiss on the cheek, which I dutifully reciprocated, only to be scolded by the other party for messing up her makeup. It left me a little gun-shy. I think, kiss me or don’t, either way is fine (assuming we’re friends), but what on earth is the point of just pretending to kiss me?

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

The oddball gesture has not origins in Jewish custom. We tend to be fairly demonstrative and I never worry about my makeup one bit!

gemiwing's avatar

What’s so wrong with being out at a function and not wanting to have to run to the restroom and redo what took me an hour to do already?

The world isn’t black and white and simply because something works in one situation doesn’t mean that it is the best always.

Jeruba's avatar

@gemiwing, nothing is wrong with not kissing! Not kissing is an excellent solution. But then why fake it? What’s wrong with just honestly not kissing?

@Dr_Lawrence, I didn’t speculate about origins, just reported my experience factually. I have no idea who started it.

gemiwing's avatar

@Jeruba Because you want to kiss them and show them how you care- you just can’t at the moment. Plus hugging while holding a glass, your coat because you’ve just arrived and a purse gets to be a bit of a juggle.

I think I’m just quite surprised so many people have such a strong loathing for something so small.

Jeruba's avatar

I show them I care by the warmth of my greeting, my facial expression of delight upon seeing them, and my words of interest and attention. A phony kiss is a phony kiss and tells me nothing but that somebody is bound to a social form. In other words, sincerity shows caring and insincerity doesn’t.

gemiwing's avatar

What is to keep one from showing joy in their face while giving an air kiss? Why the ‘natural’ connection between air kisses and being phony?

What is it about this subject that makes us assume the motivation behind the gesture? It’s fascinating to me on a sociological level.

JLeslie's avatar

@Ghost_in_the_system I prefer bowing myself, wish that would catch on in America.

Resonantscythe's avatar

@gemiwing In a situation where you are greeting someone with affection, people have no problem making physical contact. From my point of view, the air kiss would be kind of an insult (even if just a small one) because it would feel as if the person were shunning me. It’s also kind of a meaningless gesture. Say if your SO was to mime a hug at you when they saw you instead of actually hugging/kissing you? wouldn’t that be a bit pointless if you’re trying to be affectionate?

There’s also the Idea that the act of avoiding skin contact because of hygiene. Shying away from contact with someone Is body language for suggesting that person is unclean, and therefore worth avoiding. So it could be accidentally taken as a comment on a person’s approachability.

Jeruba's avatar

Sorry, @gemiwing, but your interest doesn’t sound scientific. You are clearly defending the practice. Your logic isn’t so clear. Nothing is to stop you from showing delight while your face passes out of view of the other person and you smack your lips beside his or her ear. The unnecessary part of that gesture is the air smacking, not the expression of delight.

I think the simple answer here is that it is a meaningful and useful gesture among people who share the custom. Just like bowing, it is a known social convention to some, with nuances and degrees. And it is best practiced among people who have it in common. Others may do it awkwardly or not at all and may misunderstand your intention.

JLeslie's avatar

@Resonantscythe Shying away from contact with someone Is body language for suggesting that person is unclean, and therefore worth avoiding. So it could be accidentally taken as a comment on a person’s approachability. it would be nice if that would change.

With my SO I am not worried about his germs, I live with him, kiss him, have sex with him, and I trust him to tell me if he feels like he is coming down with a cold. I might air kiss my husband if I had bunches of make-up on all dressed up.

You talk of affection, but many times kissing, shaking hands, hugs, are a greeting. I used to kiss everyone in my x-boyfriends family because that’s what they did. Half of the people I barely knew. When I worked in Bloomingdale’s some of my customers kissed me when they saw me. I mean, I liked them, had a rapport with them, happy to see them, but I was not friends with them outside of work. In other parts of the country this would be very unusual.

Resonantscythe's avatar

@JLeslie Yes, but that is why i specifically mentioned in a situation where affection is intended. Personally I will only shake hands if its a new person, and hug if they go for a hug so as not to offend them.

JLeslie's avatar

@Resonantscythe I agree with what you said, like I said I wish that would change. I wind up doing what everyone else is doing even if I don’t want to, to avoid offending someone. If they look sick, I will ask if they are sick before going in for the kiss or hug. Annoying how many people think they have allergies for a week. A week of congestion is a cold.

Resonantscythe's avatar

Allergies for a solid week? seriously? I actually chuckled at that that

Jeruba's avatar

Try allergies for years. If it goes away in a week, it’s a cold.

JLeslie's avatar

@Resonantscythe @Jeruba thank you. :) Allergies for at least the “season.” Ot it could be for a day if you are exposed to a chemical you are allergic to, I am willing to acknowledge that too. I don’t understand why some people don’t want to think they are sick.

I remember going to my mother-in-laws house one day and my nephew was puking up (sorry) everything he put in his tummy. He was probably 6 or 7 years old at the time. I mean three sips of water, running to the bathroom. His grandmother insisted it was from stress because his father is so awful. Whatever, she hated his father. I have never known stress to be like that, certainly it can cause stomach upset and vomiting, but not like this trust me. So, within a short time after witnessing this I stood up and said, “I’m leaving, I don’t want to catch it.” She said again, “it is nerves.” I said, “we will know tomorrow.” She asked, “how?” I replied, “when his sister has it.” I was right. She also has allergies for a week. Ugh.

gemiwing's avatar

@Jeruba- I have an amazing capability to be scientific while also having an emotional response to a discussion. They don’t cancel each other out. Whether you agree, is of course, up to you.

Honestly there is not much to defend. Some people think it’s horrible and other people think it’s acceptable in certain situations. Nothing really deep there.

partyparty's avatar

@Ghost_in_the_system I think in some countries bowing is the norm. But then you have the question, how low do you bow?

In some countries the lower you bow the more respect you are showing the other person!! Will it then become a competition on how low you bow, or indeed how little you nod your head.

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther