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Rangie's avatar

If you were #3 but not the last in the sibling line up, how did it affect you in your childhood?

Asked by Rangie (3667points) April 6th, 2010

I was #3 of 4 girls. I felt left out and tried to find my place in the family. It was, oldest was mom’s little baby, #2 had her agenda to be better than #1. #4 of course was dads little baby. Where did that leave #3?

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27 Answers

MorenoMelissa1's avatar

If it were me I would embrass it, and be greatful for my siblings.

Jude's avatar

I’m the baby of the family. I have three older sibs and there is an 8 year difference between the third child (my one bro) and I, so, he was the baby for a good while. When I came along, I bumped him out of his spot. Jealously was a bit of an issue when we were younger. Now, everything is cool.

Rangie's avatar

@MorenoMelissa1 It would be my guess that you don’t have any siblings. I grew up with 3 sisters in the same bedroom all my life at home. We are all born within 5½ years. So that puts us very close in High school , where the competition got really tough. Nevertheless the #3 child is a bit lost in the grand scheme of things.

evandad's avatar

There may have been some favoritism. There usually is. Most parents are smart enough to hide it from the children. If you really have a problem with this then talk to your folks about it. If they were guilty they may try and show you more love now.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I am #3.
I can’t say that I felt slighted.My younger brother caught less grief,but us siblings made allowances for extreme fatigue on the part of our parents ;)

davidbetterman's avatar

I am #3 and it took me a long time to grow big enough to kick the stuff out of my 2 older brothers for their jealousy at the perceived loss of love they felt when the new kid was born…

Coloma's avatar

If you research ’ birth order’ you will find lots of information on the traits and issues of ones birth order.

I am an only child, on the same continuem as a first born.

Onlys & firstborns tend to be leaders and mature for their ages along with other rather defining characeristics. Not 100% true all the time every time…but…..some truth as always.

Rangie's avatar

@evandad I have passed that a very long time ago, but I suspect some are still trying to figure it out. My parents have passed but I found out before that, my imaginary issues, were just that, imaginary. But there were real at the time

Rangie's avatar

@davidbetterman And did you feel the loss of love when the next one came? Or were you the kid that stole it all? Were you that sweet and cute? I wish I had that kind of confidence when I was little. You lucky little cutie pie that was the apple of your parents eye.

davidbetterman's avatar

@Rangie

For some reason I never really cared about all that stuff. I was so busy being enchanted by the wondrosity of all the newness of life around me that the family stuff was picayune.

filmfann's avatar

I am the 3rd of 4. I have 2 older sisters, and a younger brother.
Growing up, I was the overlooked middle child.
As an adult, I was the dependable, no drama, go-to.
My brother was my Mom’s favorite. The girls were my Dad’s. I have no illusions about it, and no hard feelings. I love my family, and I know how blessed I was, but I know that, growing up, I was largely ignored.

Rangie's avatar

@davidbetterman You are a stronger personality than I. With all those sisters to contend with, I felt lost in the shuffle. I wrote poems and put them in an envelope with all of my babysitting money, under my mothers pillow. She never said anything about them. But later in life after she passed away, I found all of the poems that she saved. After having her live with me when she needed me, I found out a lot about her growing up years and then I could understand. She was #1 of 4 girls. She was the most special person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I love you mom.

davidbetterman's avatar

I was 8 or 9 when I beat my dad at chess. I no longer had anything to prove to anyone. It was quite a wonderful thing!

Jude's avatar

@Rangie people are giving GA, yet, no lurve?

Coloma's avatar

@davidbetterman

Yes, well…..my daughter is one and a half times brighter than her nursery star….geez…do you know what it’s like to be stopped dead in your tracks by the offspring? lololol

Damn…my DNA is rockin’. hahaha

YARNLADY's avatar

I was nominally the middle child, but we were only one year apart, so similar to triplets. Also, my older brother was born with mental issues, which made me the ‘oldest’ by some standards.

Rangie's avatar

@jjmah sorry, but I am not getting your point.

NicoleSochacki's avatar

I’ve always experienced the middle child to be the one the parents have the most faith in to do the right thing, to be counted on, to be the most socially mature. I don’t know why but maybe it has to do with the oldest being the experimenter and the youngest being the baby.

davidbetterman's avatar

@Coloma Now that’s the right attitude. I would think a parent would be pleased as punch to have their child beat them at a game of chess at such a tender age…
But noooooooooooooooooooooooooo
that was the last game of chess we ever played..LOL…

Rangie's avatar

@davidbetterman Yes, I do know what it is like. My exhusband is the scientist that discovered interferon. His partner took all the credit and my ex then opened his own lab. Nevertheless, I had a son by that extremely smart man. My son is also extremely smart. So much so, that my second husband was intimidated by him when he was only 7 years old. Actually, I love the fact that my children are smarter than I.

Coloma's avatar

@Rangie I agreee…whats not to love? :-)
@davidbetterman Well…sounds like your win took daddy back to his 8th year emotionlly. lol

davidbetterman's avatar

@Rangie I am gals that you love the fact that my children are smarter than I. I am sure that helps them to stay smart! (Some kids learn to dumb themselves down when they feel that their parents are intimidated by their intelligence!)
@Coloma Yeah, poor dad. I was so smart that I learned not to play the game and not to just follow blindly the game…allowing me the freedom to become me and to live life according to my rules and no one else’s.

Freedom is a wonderful thing, and it is not won at the point of a gun, but in each individual’s mind and soul (whatever that is).

Rangie's avatar

@davidbetterman It took me longer to live my life according to my rules, but when I did, my sisters turned their back. It meant, when they needed help with anything, I was no longer there. Their husbands had to help them. hehe. My rules, rule. yeah.

Coloma's avatar

Well thank god there are those of us that migrate via our own flight path and don’t ride on the thermals of the flock!

My daughter gives me the hardest time about how I raised her, my quirks and passions, but she is beaming at the same time. She relishes calling me insane and always jokes about ’ no wonder I turned out this way!’ lol

Laughs unlimited…I’m mostly laughing because she is finally LAUNCHED into the universe! lolol

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