Not everyone is equipped or ready to handle a child with such serious problems. Maybe it is harder to commit to that kind of care with an older child you don’t actually know instead of an infant you’ve had years to fall in love with. I guess I can understand her feeling lied to by the adoption agency, but it’s a kid, not a used car! A little compassion, at least, would have been nice. :(
I don’t know what she tried to do first and if putting the kid on the plane was a last resort. I’ve read articles about this, and they never say if tried to handle things differently at first, but then became overwhelmed and gave up. Did she do the right thing? Not even close. Was she the only person who failed this child? Not even close.
Perhaps adoptions where the child is sent to a family in another country, without that family ever seeing the child, should not be allowed. Even people who want to be parents very badly are not going to automatically “click” and fall in love with any child that’s given to them. Babies and children have different personalities, just like adults, and adoptions sight-unseen may be a bad idea. I’ve known two children adopted from Russia, one as a toddler and one as a preschooler. Both had serious developmental delays just from the conditions of the orphanages where they lived since infancy. But, the adoptive parents went to Russia, met the children, and knew what they doing. I do know families who adopted babies from Korea and first met the babies at a US airport, but the foster parent system in Korea is vastly different from the system in Russia and, in general, far superior. In both of those cases, children and parents are all very happy.
There’s no excuse for what she did, but Russia should examine their adoption policies. US authorities should pursue whatever child abandonment charges would apply to the case.