My sister left her husband after 23 years of marriage when he refused to work and started emotionally abusing her. He also refused to give up their house, which was paid for, so she packed up and bought a new house in the city, taking their three children with her.
I went to visit her, and she put me to work painting walls in the basement while she took the kids to the nearby park. Enter the now ex-BIL, who is 21 years older than I am. I was 10 when they married, and he treated me like a daughter and friend, teaching me how to play chess, shoot archery, about tropical fish and nature. He picked up a brush, and we painted away in silence. Out of nowhere, he says, “I’m in love with you and always will be until you find someone.”
I felt ill. I was so angry and disgusted by this that I blew a gasket. He was told that he needed to get over it as it would never, ever be returned. I couldn’t be around him for years after that. It was difficult, as my sister kept encouraging me to go visit him when I was in town because he would appreciate it. She thought that I was avoiding him because of what he did to her.
A friend once asked me if I ever told my sister. The answer was no. It wouldn’t have done any good for her to hear it. I did finally tell Mom, and she said that she wasn’t surprised. That made me even angrier. Confessing how he felt essentially wiped away 20+ years of admiration.