I think that you should have to have a license to put private information on the internet. You should be required to take a course in safe surfing.
Am I glad I’m an old fart? Not on your life. I will now, in the spirit of providing too much information on the internet, explain why. God I hope no one ever figures out who I am and passes that information on to my family and friends.
So, at the age of 54, I have been let into that select inner circle of old farts. I am in for two reasons. First, I am old enough to forget a lot of words. 2nd, I am old enough to be asked to join that organization for old people whose name I have forgotten at the moment.
Third, and perhaps most importantly, I now fart. All the time. I toot all night (whenever I am awake enough to hear it). I play the asshorn most of the day, too, except I have to try to let it out quietly, which is an enormous strain. I with society didn’t laugh at farting so much.
They say it’s amino acids or something. My body no longer can process them effectively. Thus, I pass gas. Early and often. It is extremely annoying, but what can I do?
Do you see? Being of a certain age and farting all the time is not something to be glad of.
I refuse to join that organization, though. I am too young, or feel too young to be a member of that organization whose name is on the tip of my tongue. I still think of myself as in my thirties, even if I do fart all the time. Maybe I should just say I’m a fart. Not an old fart.