Here’s might go down if the celebrity’s new next door neighbor turned out to be a paparazzo:
Paparotso runs snake cam under celeb’s door with intention of pitching crap quality footage to TMZ and National Enquirer.
Pap is busted by pissed-off, hungover, and still-dressed-as-Maggie-Thatcher Chuck Norris.
Pap says, “You think ya betta than me? You owe dis to ya fans, ya has-been! This is da price uh fame, ya loser! Fuckin’ Chuck Norris dressed as da freakin’ queen a England- dis is gonna be my money shot!”
Instead of throwing pap off of porch, Chuck tries to throw pap upward and face-first through chimney.
Pap falls back down chimney and drops unconscious into fireplace.
Norris upChucks 151-proof vomit onto pap, lights him on fire, and enjoys the warmth, while the rest of the neighbors enjoy the screams.
I’d be the neighbor that called Chuck’s private security company with the heads-up.