I think it really depends on the crowd you run with. Of course, I’ve been known to be a bit of a deviant. My ex had a VERY large collection of male sex toys- masturbators, anal beads, vibrators, realistic rump and simultaneous couples’ toys- you name it. I thought it was great and an awesome complement to my own extensive collection.
I actually disagree with the statement of women “needing” penetration. (And anyway, if it were needed we do have fingers.) Most women can’t climax without clitoral stimulation. Therefore, emphasis would likely be put on external stimulation, vs. internal. To put this rudely, it’s perfectly possible to just “rub one out” like a man.
I think the stigma surrounding male toys originated with the feminist movement. Women took a stance to empower their sexuality (among other things) and men have always had the understood assertion of sexual power, without actually claiming it. Man get woman, make woman bride, bride make baby. Caveman stuff. If there was a sexual movement in general (about empowerment, not the current idea of posting sex everywhere), perhaps that stigma would dissipate.