“Osama Bin Laden’s Journal from Exhile; April 15, 201…. Ahmed forgot the twinkies again on his latest trip to the market. If this continues I may have to declare a Jihad on him. My beard is beginning to chafe my stomach, and if I have to watch another re-run of friends on dvd I’m going to lose my mind. My cat, Constable Fuzzy Feet, has still not returned from his reconnaissance mission. I am expecting the worst….”