I personally think that you’re wonderful

A few discussions today got me thinking and I asked my g/f: Being opinionated and obnoxious. How can one be opinionated without being an obnoxious ass? (I was referring to myself). Sometimes, I open my big mouth when I shouldn’t.

Her response: Before You Speak, Ask Yourself: Is It Kind, Is It Necessary, Is It True, Does It Improve On The Silence? ~ Sai Baba

For the most part, I try to keep my opinions to myself unless my advice is asked for or I really think something needs to be said. You know what they say about opinions, anyway.

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That’s a fair amount of baggage. But you’re still a good guy.
My baggage is stubborn independence. It never worked in relationships. Until now, when I met the female counterpart.

@Jude : I had a friend remind me today what they say about opinions. It was good to hear.

She tossed out another one: Here is another good one I have heard: You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
Dale Carnegie

So true.

(sorry for threadjacking)

thanks for sharing
I was so used to being admired as a precocious child who knew more than everyone else, I never got over it.

This site really is helpful.

I changed my mind. :\

I’m bitter and jaded from a shitty marriage. @hawaii_jake Not being a christian isn’t baggage, maybe the opposite.

I can’t say no and that many times now has gotten me in a lot of trouble and before you ask….NO! That felt so good!!

@Cruiser : Aw. Com’on. Just this once?

@hawaii_jake OK just this once! Dammit!! did it again!!

I’m pretty boring, I have no baggage.

@chyna May I carry yours?

@worriedguy Of course you may. It’s light as a feather.

I’ve had anxiety attacks since kindergarten, but I would hardly call it “baggage” because for the past few years it has been pretty manageable and I can usually still function while anxious or during an attack. Only the full-blown attacks wipe me out and they hardly occur anymore.

I live in a sick household and that sometimes freaks people out. I understand why it makes people uncomfortable.

Anything else that has accumulated from past experiences or relationships only really affects me in very specific situations. I don’t really like calling any of it “baggage”. It’s just…life.

I have a very abusive past and I am recovering from it still. I also have a minor alcohol dependency that drives a few people away. I have horrible medical problems and it’s hard for others to understand. I am also a quite jealous person.

@hawaii_jake is awesome.

I guess you could say my baggage is that I’m sort of haunted by the ghosts of girlfriends past, if you catch my drift.

Oh, and I have a horrid jealous streak.

I manage well though. C’est la vie.

Let me add. I grew up with an asshole Dad. I was also molested by my brother at the age of 7. I have trust issues when it comes to men. Also working on that via therapy.

I may come off as outspoken and blunt here. In real life, I tend to hold back and am described as “very calm” and sweet. Weird, huh? Ask Lucille. We met last year. I am 39, but, I’m still learning about this crazy, little thing called life. One thing, though, I don’t let anyone push me around. I am my mother’s daughter, and after so many years of living with a bully of a husband, she grew a backbone (my Mom passed away 4 years ago at 64). A bit of her story:

Back when she was in her late 20’s, she went to her doctor and thought that something was wrong with her (her words). She had three kids at the time (I wasn’t born), all under the age of 7. My Dad was often out with other women, was gambling and was drinking. He called my Mom “fat“and would talk down to her often. Her self-esteem was shit. So, she went to her GP thinking that she was crazy. He spent some time with her, and said ‘there is nothing wrong with you, you’re just depressed (because of circumstance). Go back and finish your education and eventually get out and work. It will make you feel wonderful”. He then gave some her Lithium. And, she did just that. She got her GED, went on to University of Western and got a degree in Psych (also, minor History). She graduated with honors and then went on to get her Masters. All whilst working and raising 4 kids. She then went on to work for the Catholic Board here where I live. My Dad, well, what could he do? He backed down. When he would do something wrong, though, he would pout like a little boy. “Everyone hates me”. Passive-aggressive bullshit. I saw it. He wouldn’t get to her, though. Really, she deserved better. She was beautiful and smart, genuine and kind. We (the four kids) begged her to leave him many times, but, she didn’t. She stuck with him for the kids. I guess, that’s what they did back then. Perhaps, coming from a Catholic family, she felt that she should stay in the marriage, I don’t know. Anyhow, she went on to do great things with her life. At her funeral, there were people lined up down a few blocks from the funeral home, wanting to get in to pay their respects.

I won’t let anyone push me around. Ever.

Ah, that feels better. How much do I owe you, Fluther?

I never ask for help. I would rather suffer in silence than get others involved. Its actually been sort of ok so far.

I don’t consider some of the stuff mentioned here as bagagge.

I travel light. What you see is what you get. Independent, assertive.

I don’t know if this is baggage but I take things too seriously, very few people really interest me and I’m rather unemotional when interacting with people.

Quite plenty.

I have OCD (somewhat), I’m crazy about washing hands, I tend to get bossy, I’m a little emotional, and if you piss me off during my “time of the month”, someone will lose a tooth.

Sexy, huh?

I have been badly burned in past relationships, and it has left me a bit jaded.
I tend to make jokes about a lot of things, but I sincerely care about things that would supprise you.
I am Christian, and married for 27 years, and find no conflict with that and my beliefs for Gay Rights.
I have been diagnosed as Schizotypal, but you probably wouldn’t notice it.

The usual mess of attachment difficulties, trust issues and middle-of-the-night dread that every choice I make is a poor one because I’m actually stupid that result from 19 years of child abuse and then a further 10 years of emotional abuse. Let’s put it this way: I laughed really hard at that “I AM THE UNDERMINER!” gag at the end of The Incredibles. Brad Bird doesn’t know from underminers!

Recognizing my inherent worth and permission to do and be what I want as an adult and as a human being, and that I deserve to be happy, and that I’m not a “mistake” or a “burden” has been an uphill struggle. Recognizing that I have a right to my emotions, that they don’t need to be stuffed down, and that I’m not actually “inviting Satan into my heart” with every thought and feeling has been just…

::sigh:: Can I sue Fate for damages?

I am the queen of TMI.

I’m kinda bossy and a recovering control-freak / OCD..mellowing very nicely with age and the love and compassion of a wonderful husband and my own little nuclear family.

I could blame some of my baggage on my hyper-critical alcoholic father’s neglect/abandonment of me during my childhood and my lifelong attempts to over-achieve in a sad attempt at gaining his attention or approval..but really, it’s probably just my own character flaws at this point..and I’m working at ‘em.

I’ve worked through my baggage over the years, it’s 99% evaporated and I am acutely aware of others. lol

My baggage is shaped like a Mary Poppins carpetbag, but with an intricate, colorful design on it, with a leather handle and six side pockets. It’s not too light, not too heavy, and I’m slowly tossing stuff out everyday. XD

What’s in it… remnants of old issues that have been worked on—PTSD, 31 years of abuse, abandonment issues, lots of family issues, those have been worked on until they’re almost gone. The only things I’m working on right now are standing up for myself and not freaking out too much if I make mistakes.

I feel rather melodramatic calling anything I mention here ‘baggage’, but for the sake of a response I’ll go ahead anyway.
As hesitant as I am to self-diagnose since I’ve never been to a doctor and have no realistic intentions of seeing one if I can help it, I have something of an anxiety issue. I get consumed by panic – albeit silently for the most part – over a lot of things, mostly insignificant. I find it really difficult to be comfortable with people even if I’ve known them for a long period of time. I don’t associate with my father (since I was in middle school) and have somewhat of a rocky relationship with my brother as well. I tend to let things build up because I don’t really talk about anything personal with other people. I think I’m too polite for my own good. I lack confidence and second guess myself constantly. I’m even regretting posting this as I’m typing it! But alas.

@martianspringtime Thank you for sharing

I was in therapy for almost 20 years.
I wonder if I hold the record for the most persistent case of Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

@blueberry_kid : Should I be frightened?? ;-)

I’ve got a load of baggage, but it’s boring and whiney, I’m too embarrassed to share, and I know that there are individuals on Fluther who would be mean to me about it.

Self-destructive (not physically), I manage well to cause irreversible self-destruction! I guess it also affects those who care about me. Working on it, but not quite there yet.

I’m stealing @JilltheTooth‘s answer, as it best fits my scenario. ;) Thanks Jill!

@SpatzieLover : We need to get together and have ourselves a little whine-fest!

@JilltheTooth YES! In a mosquito-free zone, of course

I’m very emotional, and very sensitive, it’s really easy to piss me off and upset me. But if anyone outside my family upsets me, I won’t cry. They’ll know I’m upset though, you can be sure of that. If you talk about me behind my back, I will walk right up to you and to about you to your face. Sometimes I’ll have panic attacks when it gets too hot and I haven’t drank anything, I have a very hard time breathing until I drink something (along with the breathing troubles I already have). And lastly, I have a strange habit that I’ve had ever since I was little and I can’t seem to break. But you know you love me anyway.

@laineybug we’re like twins!