Great question. I was just thinking about this the other day. I’m 4.5 years older than my brother. Growing up, there wasn’t really any competition since I had a significant edge on him in everything. I bullied him a bit, like most older brothers do, but outgrew it. I don’t know if he thinks I bullied him too much, but I hope not. Retrospectively, I wish I had never been anything other than kind and nurturing.
We now have a fine relationship and travel to see each other a couple times a year, a few days at a time. But there is no question that he feels very competitive with me. I, on the other hand, feel proud of him when he can beat me at something, but don’t ever let up to give him an easy win. I know he’s competitive in general, and I don’t know if he’s more competitive with me. I’m guessing that it stems from our youth, in that he wants to whip my ass in any and everything as payback.
The reason I was thinking about it recently is because he visited for 5 days last week. He’s a great tennis player, and I started playing a couple years ago. I’ve been hounding him for lessons, and he gave me a few hours of instruction. He seems very proud I asked him for help, and very pleased his lessons improved my game immediately. But he’s still two levels above me and can destroy me. However, if we shoot pool or play a videogame, he REALLY wants to win. Way more than anyone else I play in general. To the point that I looked over while about to take a difficult shot in pool and he was so hoping I was going to screw it up. I mean he just wanted me to fail so bad since it would give him a better chance. But on the flipside, I don’t really care who wins, I just want a close game. When he makes a great shot, I compliment him because I’m proud he did well. When I make a great shot, it irritates him. Further, I won a few games in a row and he didn’t want to play anymore since he felt he wasn’t playing well. Personally, I don’t care if I lose 20 in a row against him, I just want to hang out. But for him it is important to beat me. Also, he has little interest in learning any new game or sport in which I’m already proficient. I suspect that it’s because he knows he would lose and cares too much about that. I hope one day he gets over it.
Sorry for rambling. It was just the right question for me at the right time.