@Blackberry Fabulous question. I have wondered this exact thing all my life, starting with my mother’s non-stop insistent talkingtalkingtalking.
And I am appreciating the explanations I am seeing. Honestly, I have been clueless for years and years as to why you people talk so much. I have had conversations (mainly with women, but men do it too) in which my part has been “Hello, how are you?”.....“Well, been nice talking with you.” Honestly, not even the slightest opportunity to insert a single word during the entire “conversation”.
@Coloma lest you think I am one of the bumbleheads, most people think I am just a fabulous conversationalist because I do ask questions and I do listen, and ask more questions (assuming I get the chance). I’m not making this up. These people who talk so much (and no offense to any who do, especially now that I am understanding why) tell me over and over how much they enjoy talking with me. (It’s because I bring them out and get them to talk about themselves.)
My perception of a conversation involves two speaking parts during which both parties talk, ask questions of the other, and build on what each other say…..not just one-sided endless talking.
@tom_g I too value silence. I also value the benefits of using silence in conversation. I first realized its value early in my career when I had a very intelligent adversary who could unfailingly get out me anything he wanted to know. I finally realized that he simply judiciously used silence with me. He would ask a question and after I had answered, he would sit silently. So I would talk some more. And he would sit silently. And I would talk some more…and tell him everything. I will never forget the day and the moment I made him blink first with silence. And I have used it ever since, but hopefully more kindly than he used it on me…..nevertheless, it was a great lesson.