“Look at my massive penis!”

“Your hair makes you look like a slinky!” curly hair

Course I love you!

When my husband was going to bed one night he farted and then said, “Deflating for storage.”

ROFL! Awesome!

A male friend of mine calls himself ” The playful letch”...I told him it should be a Tarot card. lol

@ragingloli has referred to himself as male in the past. Just saying.

I’ve missed you so much that I’ve turned from a mister into a miss.

@zensky I have often wondered…

Seated at a table with a vegan on either side, an ex reacted to one of them stating they don’t anything with a central nervous system by saying, “but that’s the most delicious part!”

@janbb While we were hanging out on our patio last week, my hubby farted and yelled, “Speak oh toothless one!” I spit my beer everywhere!

My husband frequently says things that crack me up. He’s very good at slipping in little one-liners when you least expect it.

Just a few minutes ago, I was on the phone with him and told him I wanted us to take the kids to dinner, then do our grocery shopping as a family, so that they can pick out things they want this week and everyone would be happy. He told me, “But if I pick out my own stuff, that means I won’t get to bitch this week!” in a perfectly calm, serious voice. Had me laughing.

“My wife doesn’t understand me.”
I literally cracked up. What a stereotypical cheater he was trying to be. And he thought I would buy it?
It was well over 20 years ago. I wonder if he’s still married?

Awesome answers all. Thanks so much for the laughs.

Just this morning I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone and he was walking his dog at the time. He walked through a field that had a single cow in it and I said “are you sure it’s not a bull?” remember, I couldn’t see it for myself as I was on the phone and he said “I know tits when I see them”!!! I could tell he said it deliberately to make me laugh (he wasn’t comparing my modest bosum for udders) and he succeeded!

After coming out with a string of %$#%&^&()!!!), my (new) friend said ,’‘you don’t fool me.. i know underneath that thin veneer of sh!t you’re all lady ’’..he made me laugh so much i totally forgot what anoyed me in the first place.

I love it when men, or anyone for that matter, know how to laugh at themselves in such a way that I can’t help feeling happy and positive around them and laughing myself. When one can enjoy life that much, I don’t always remember what they said… but I may still remember the effect their words had on me and how much of a joy they are to be around. :)